Review: Alpha Delta’s new single “Harry Fucking Potter”

Thanks to the increased notoriety of sophomore Chet Hanks (perhaps the only current popular musician who has experienced less hardship than Drake) and his debut song “White and Purple (Northwestern Remix),” Frat Rap at Northwestern is at an all time high. But no newcomer has stirred up the Evanston Hip Hop scene quite as much as the up-and-coming rap syndicate Alpha Delta.

The Hip Hop duo responsible for tearing up the charts like Sectumsempra

Despite their underground status, the members of the acclaimed Frorority Alpha Delta have cast quite the spell on students at Northwestern University with their recently released single “Harry Fucking Potter.” Featuring Alison “Tape Deck” Decker on vocals and produced by Katie “DJ Klepto” Chilton, the song chronicles the true life of Harry Potter and his peers at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry while infringing on numerous copy right laws. Lines like “With a scar on your head / and a wand in your hand / you’re gonna show the Wizarding world how to be in demand,” provide the expected praise for a magical hero beloved by all, but the Alpha Delts also aren’t afraid to go deeper and penetrate into the more twisted and dark world of life as a tormented hero.

“Harry Potter, well his parents were dead / and sometimes that messed up his head / He saw them in the mirror of Erised / When Ron looked in he just wanted to beat up Fred / Hermione probably just wanted to give Ron head,” spits Decker, whose flowing yet frenetic lines mesh with Chilton’s soaring orchestral loops to reproduce the sense of adolescent joy and dread found throughout the Potter saga. What the production value lacks, Decker and Chilton clearly make up for with their overpowering charisma, until the listener has no choice but to fall in love with Alpha Delta’s creation as if they’ve just imbibed Amortentia (the most powerful love potion in the world, according to harrypotter.wikia.com).

Although the success of “Harry Fucking Potter” has many fans clamoring for more, the members of Alpha Delta have been surprisingly silent about any future plans. Rumors have swirled that a mix tape is in the works, and will be dropped around mid-March, but due to the lack of public performances, many fans have wondered if the two musical partners have fallen into a creative rut. Whatever the case may be, “Harry Fucking Potter” continues to burn up the charts like a Fiendfyre Curse, hopefully destroying all of Chet Hanks’ discography in its wake.

Overall Rating: If “Harry Fucking Potter” was a Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Bean, it would probably be Pina Colada. Listen to it here: