Spring Quarter Sustenence Slump

18 May


Holla if this is your spring quarter food situation:

1)     You’ve been eating at Allison/Sargent/Plex for 3.6 quarters now, and you’re so goddamn sick of meatloaf/stale desserts/ loneliness (respectively) that you’ve taken to crossing campus for a change of scene.

2)     You’d go out to eat, but you’re too damn broke.

Lucky for you, asshole, I’m bored, creative, and inclined to try and find flavor in a hopeless place. And lucky for me, Shepard has a wonderful kitchen (all the better to make homemade munchies with. Suck on that, Willard). So in my last quarter with a dining hall meal plan, I intend to modify and compile some recipes whose ingredients can either be easily lifted from the dining halls or bought cheaply at CVS.

Questions or contributions: Elliekinkervoss@u.northwestern.edu

The best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth

At the hall: Barbecue Chicken Pita Pizzas

So I try to powertrip as politely and unobtrusively as possible.

But holy shit you guys I found this and it’s actually the most delicious thing on the planet did you know that you can actually make it in the dining hall if you put everything on and stick it in the microwave you don’t even need to steal the shit oh my god the world is full of joy and deliciousness and I just brought it to you please send me lots of compliments because clearly I deserve them also I definitely didn’t make this several times in a row and then walk around socializing with my plate so that people who are plate gawkers would check it out like “what’s that?” and I’m like look at meeeeee you wish you were this innovative nom nom nommies I am enjoying my food today thanks to myself FFFFUUUUCCCCKKK YEEEEAHHHHHHHH.

Sorry about that. Here’s what we’ve got:
Pita bread
Grilled chicken or plain tofu
Onions (grilled or raw)
Barbecue sauce
Feta cheese

The best way to do it: put the feta in the pita and warm it in the microwave. If you’re vegetarian, get the tofu Go to the sangwich/wrap station and ask for the grilled chicken and some barbecue sauce – you can put the onions on while waiting in line.


I’ve had this tested on trusted individuals, but let me know if you have other ideas or modifications to this.

Recipe credit goes to:

It also looks like the result of Ross Packingham after he pregames a formal!

At home: Banana Bread Pudding

From the dining halls:
1/2 cup butter
a shitton (loaf) of bread, cubed
1 cup sugar
4 cups half-n-half, (or cream, or milk)
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon – West Side Plex, by the hot water

3-4 sliced bananas

4 tsp vanilla (if you like to bake, this is a good investment anyways)
6 eggs
1 tsp nutmeg


Preheat the oven to 375. Melt the butter and stick it in an 11 x 13 casserole dish. Mix in the bread chunks in and get them all buttery, similar to the manner in which Sir Twattingworth buttered your mother last night.

Mix all other ingredients except bananas in a separate bowl and pour over the bread chunks, making sure that all the bread chunks are soaked. Stir in the sliced bananas and bake for 40-50 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

In other words, heat things up, get the bread wet, then stick the bananas in. Follow your primal instinct and in no time you’ll be moaning at the sheer joy in your mouth.

Recipe credit goes to:


May the heinous be with you.

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