Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Libations at NU

18 Jul

What most intoxicated freshmen look like to us.

So you’re going off to NU this fall, eh? You like to party hard? NO YOU DON’T, HIGH SCHOOLER. Now that we have that aside, let me be your tour guide around the beautiful bar that is the NU campus.

No shit you’re going to find beer. What did you expect? Prepare for keg beer, Keystone Light, Busch Light, and PBR galore. Occasionally you’ll find something else, but don’t get excited. For the love of God, please do not drink the bottles if you find any in a fridge! That shit is stealing and is uncool. Be thankful enough that NU’s frats don’t charge like asshole state schools. We’re nice like that. Don’t trash the place.

Delicious? Yes. Dangerous? Don’t care. Honestly, if you’re not an idiot, drinking “da juice” isn’t gonna fuck you up. You do that to yourself. Do us a favor and count them. I can promise you that I can thank half of my stories to the existence of some sweet liquids of the Frat Gods. As far as flavors go, Frat juice is going to be fruit punch flavored from kool-aid, occasionally Gatorade, and in (insert UNNAMED frat)’s case (supposedly the best on campus, though I wasn’t impressed) roofies lemonade. Theatre kids do something a bit different. Along with the Hawaiian Punch and the Everclear, they throw in a few cans of PBR. Why? I can’t tell you. It honestly doesn’t add anything but carbonation to the mix and a funky bitter flavor. I don’t mind it at all, but if it’s got too much, it’s gonna taste like a yeast infection. FUN.

You’ll always find rum and vodka, and yes, it’ll be straight out of that huge plastic bottle, so buck up, freshman, and take the damn shot. If you’re lucky, the frat you’re at will have a guy mixing drinks. This most often happens during the beginning of the year, especially off-campus during the “sacred” freshman freeze. It’s not often and it’s a nice escape from the monotony. Did I happen to be at a party that had 1000 jello shots? HELL FUCKIN’ YEAH I WAS AND IT WAS EXHILARATING.

There are the few bars around campus, but now that the Keg has installed scanners and has tightened up, it’s going to be hard to get in unless you’ve got a great fake. Bat 17 has a huge selection of craft and local beers and they’re great. The Keg is…. The Keg, so you can read up on that. Bar Louie is only worth it for the monthly drink special, the dollar burgers on Tuesdays and the Bottle special on Wednesday. The Celtic Knot, however, is that delicious pub that contains a dirty little secret: THE KNOTTY SHOT. This shit is fucking delicious. I will consume as many of these as I can get my fucking fingers on. It’s reportedly a premixed shot they keep in the fridge behind the bar of 2 parts Bailey’s, 1 part Powers or Jameson (irish whiskey, you uneducated smurfs) and 1 part Frangelico (hazelnut liqueur. I’ve made these at home with amaretto instead. Works just as well, though not as tasty). Besides all of that, they have Guinness and Boddington’s on tap, which, if you’re as heinously obsessed with irish beers like me, is the most perfect thing ever. DRINK THEM PLEASE. Also the food is pretty great, and the locals agree (considering they’re always there)

What’s worse, the pain or the hangover?

What the fuck. Get out of here. JUST KIDDING, I LOVE WINE. To be honest, you’re not gonna find it anywhere unless you buy it for yourself at EV1, Whole Foods, D&D or that place near Taco Bell. You’ll see franzia once in a while, and you’re guaranteed it on the frat buses on bar/formal nights. There isn’t really anywhere around campus either that is a good place for wine. Have some pretentious friends like me if you want a nice Bacchanalia.

So that’s it! Those are the drinks to expect around the NU campus. BE MERRY AND PLEASE DON’T PEE ON OUR DOORS.

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