That Guy, after a hard day’s work of being That Guy.
At approximately 11:17 am on Wednesday, multiple students in Professor Seeskin’s History of Ancient Philosophy lecture witnessed that guy, sporting a flat-brim Northwestern hat, polo shirt, and boat shoes, during a discussion of Aristotelian morality.
That Guy, who spent a majority of the 50-minute lecture alternatively coiffing his hair and massaging his pectorals due to his early morning workout, also reportedly would not shut up, repeatedly challenging the chair of the Philosophy Department on inane trivialities and recounting prior experiences of his from his adolescence in Westchester, NY.
Despite repeated warnings to “Not be That Guy,” That Guy then proceeded to play bubble spinner on his laptop computer for the remainder of class, scour over his fantasy football team’s lineup, and converse with the bro sitting next to him regarding his prurient intentions for the slampieces seated a mere three rows away.
As of press time, That Guy’s plans for the rest of the day were still undecided, but sources suggest that That Guy will go on to be a total dick on the beer pong table while playing the new Dave Matthews album.
Sherman Ave 
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