Go The F♥ck to Class

Your TA is grading attendance-

Without it, you never shall pass.

You’re not hot enough to trade “O’s” for “A’s”

So go the fuck to class.

–

Your parents are paying to educate you-

Not to dream of P. Middleton’s ass.

So calm your salami or throw on some jeans

And go the fuck to class.

–

Musicians, your ensembles await you-

They all want a piece of Dat Brass.

Go blow with your fellow tromboners

And go the fuck to class.

–

No one cares that you went to the frats last night

No one cares that you drank your own mass.

The world doesn’t fucking revolve around you-

Puke it out, get some toast, go to class.

–

You’re missing Renee’s awesome lectures,

Or Lane Fenrich’s wise, subtle sass.

Now Morty is so disappointed in you

That you aren’t the fuck in your class.

–

In a few days, when midterms come at you,

You’ll be glad that you got off your ass.

On your deathbed you’re not going to wish you could sleep–

So go the fuck to class.

–

Outside the wind’s throwing a tantrum;

Frozen slush and dirt blanket the grass.

Get off Sherman Ave. Get on Sheridan Road.

You’re fucking late to class.

_____________________________________________________________________

Pay no attention to the heinousness behind the curtain.