Mayor Tisdahl Appalled as Students Make Money by Dancing on Weekends

10 Mar

Mayor Tisdahl, trying to persuade the Evanston City Council to shut down Northwestern.

EVANSTON – Mayor Elizabeth Tisdahl expressed in a press conference this morning that she was “utterly shocked” to learn that over 1,000 Northwestern students earned money by dancing this weekend.

“I mean, I know that they’re just naive kids who like engaging in de–debauchery,” said the mayor.  “But dancing for money?  Come on now.  That’s just embarrassing to the university, and more importantly, this town.”

“Much more importantly,” muttered Mayor Tisdahl under her breath.

Students who danced for money this weekend appeared to be quite nonchalant about the matter.  In fact, many of them were bursting with excitement and emotion after what one student called “the most exhilarating experience of my whole life.”

“It was literally just so amazing,” recalled Mary Donahue, a Bienen sophomore.  “I’m blown away by how much money we can make just from some dancing.  I mean we all had fun and stuff, but when we saw the smiles on those kids faces?  I’ll never forget that.  As long as I live.”

Other students were similarly ecstatic about the whole experience.  Weinberg Freshman Calvin Lee explained that the adversity was what made his 30-hour experience so memorable and worthwhile to him.

“There came a point when it was, like, 3:15 in the morning, and I had been dancing for so long that I thought my legs were going to fall off,” said Lee.  “I was so close to giving up.  For a moment I stopped dancing.  But then I remembered:  There are people who are paying me to do this, and if I quit now, not only will I be verbally berated, but I would be doing everybody who chipped in a disservice.  So I just held my head up and powered through, and I couldn’t be happier that I did.”

“My Dad’s friend from work gave me $50 to dance,” added Lee.

Despite the excitement of students, Mayor Tisdahl was still “disgusted” with their behavior.  Reportedly, she lost her cool when she overheard a student say that they wish they could make that money dancing every weekend.

“Are you kidding?” responded Mayor Tisdahl, visibly antagonizing the student.  “What’s next?  Are you going to have an award to glorify the student who gets the most money by dancing for people?”

Tom Stanton, executive director of the Danny Did Foundation, could not be reached for comment, as he was sorting through the 1.2 million one-dollar bills donated to his charity last night.

One Response to “Mayor Tisdahl Appalled as Students Make Money by Dancing on Weekends”

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  1. A Comprehensive Timeline of DM Emotions | Sherman Ave - March 10, 2013

    […] the three hours pass. Somehow, make it through alive. That actually sucked, though. If block 4 was Mayor Tisdahl, block 5 was Mayor Tisdahl personally confiscating your […]

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