Air Bud Signs With Houston Red Rockets

3 Apr
Three players on the Red Rockets, scouring the court to make sure there's no dogshit.

Three players on the Red Rockets, scouring the court to make sure there’s no dogshit.

HOUSTON – Red Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey announced today that a final agreement had been reached with golden retriever and notorious alcoholic-clown-duper Buddy, nicknamed “Air Bud.”  The team has signed the animal to a 3-year contract, compensating him with 15 million dollars a year, in addition to ample amounts of Alpo and catshit.

The decision to bring on Air Bud comes at an opportune moment for the Red Rockets; sitting in mediocrity at 7th place in the Western conference, the team needs rejuvenation.  Morey hopes that the addition of an all-star canine will rejuvenate the team and put them in a stronger standing for the playoff race.

“We’ve had a decent season, but it’s been a little ruff-er than we had hoped,” said Morey.  “HAHAHA!  RUFF-ER!  DO YOU GET IT?!”

Other players on the Red Rockets expressed their excitement at the teams’ acquisition.  Pointguard Jeremy Lin was especially ecstatic.

“This is a huge pick-up for the team,” commented Lin intelligently.  “Air Bud is an incredibly talented and dedicated player.  It’s terrific that we were able to capitalize on this golden opportunity.”

“Golden…retriever…opportunity.  Hee hee,” added Lin.

At a press conference this afternoon, Air Bud expressed his great excitement to join the team, dubbed the “Corn Dogs.” Unfortunately, reporters at the conference missed some of his commentary, as they were distracted by his dog boner.

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