Keg Week 2013: Evaluating Possible Kegplacements

6 Apr
All those fun Evanston bars you can't get into, and then also the Deuce.

All those fun Evanston bars you can’t get into, and then also the Deuce.

As tragic as the loss of our dearly departed TKOE is, the simple truth remains that life must go on and the hein must continue. So it is that we, a sad and weary bunch, take up the task of finding a kegplacement. Urged on by a resigned knowledge that we have no other option, and by the occasional inbox for our devoted readers asking for our help, we accept our duty and offer a guide to possible locations to fill the gaping hole in our hearts that was The Keg:

Bat 17: Well heeeellllloooooo renovation, and what beautiful timing you have. Just as our hearts were broken to pieces by Mayor Tisdaddy, Bat chose to pick them up and build them into a huge new bar area. The newly renovated Bat features wide open spaces perfect for sweaty, unconscionable grinding and maintains its excellent drink selection. Still, a couple of prohibitive factors remain, including its relatively high prices and reasonable (read: “following the law”) ID policy. On the other hand, BEER TOWERS.

Nevin’s: Long a choice of upperclassmen pretending to be too cool for The Keg (which, for the record, is IMPOSSIBLE), Nevin’s has a good location just around the corner from TKOE and a long tradition of hosting NU students. The problem? They also have a long tradition of refusing to serve minors. Like, dafuq is that?? If they were to ease up at the door, Nevin’s could become a long-term solution to our Keg-Deficit problem.

Bar Louie: Here too we find a popular location for those of legal drinking age, and those who got sick of waiting in line for The Keg. Bar Louie does have a more mature feel, which doesn’t really jive with the whole “drink until you puke the theater major you were hitting on” thing that we had going at TKOE. More likely it will remain a solid Monday night option but not the ragefactory we crave.

Cheesie’s: Oh Cheesie’s. My sweet, dear Cheesie’s. How I love you, and crave you and think about you. And yes, your grilled cheese is my spirit animal. And yes, your fried mac and cheese balls are my new pope. But no, the little bar you operate will not be able to replace The Keg. And yes, it was silly of me to even consider it. I think it best that we remain what we are: best friends, but nothing more.

World of Beer: No. (As an aside, however, we now get to say “WOBbledy WOBbledy WOB WOBble WOBble” wayyyy more than we used to.)

For reference, that's Tommy's On Higgin's way out in Bumblefuck, then McGee's and McFadden's by the lake.

For reference, that’s Tommy’s On Higgin’s way out in Bumblefuck, then McGee’s and McFadden’s by the lake.

McGee’s/ McFadden’s: No, these bars really shouldn’t be lumped together but we’re gonna do it anyway because in all honesty only one will emerge as a contender to replace TKOE. Both have had their day in the NU sun in the last few years, and both continue to be frequented by upperclassmen, those in Greek life and the adventurous younger folk. Both are easily accessible by the El and both offer a good mix of young people (though McGee’s boasts those DePaul hotties). McFadden’s is usually slightly more expensive but not prohibitively so. The biggest problem is, once again, the threat of ID’s being taken away or rejected. And with both locations so far away, the idea of travelling an hour on the red line to be turned away is not a pretty one. Yet these two are likely our best bets to replace The Keg, which could usher in an era of El-pregaming that this school is sorely in need of.

Deuce: Ok, it’s true that we probably don’t want to turn to the Deuce as our Monday, Thursday and Saturday night hotspot. The pizza’s great, but it’s not THAT great. But it’s worth pointing out that if we’re already willing to cab it into the city once a week, why not make it twice a week? After all, we were fine with #KegMon and #KegSat. It’s a known quantity, which is a plus, and you can usually be sure that your ID will work there. The Deuce isn’t our best bet, but it’s not the world’s worst fallback either.

Tommy’s on Higgins: Now arises the question of our loyalty to The Keg’s fearless martyr, owner Tom Migon. Migon owns two non-Keg locations, both named Tommy’s, and this Chicago location is the more feasible of the two. We would obviously know the owner well and we could expect to be able to bring some Keg-sized hein to Tommy’s. However, the negatives stack up quickly. It’s nearly an hour and a half away by public transit, and the cost of cabbing it would rack up quickly. It’s hard to be sure that it could even work as a college bar, as it may be more suited as a neighborhood watering hole for Norwood Park. Finally, the basic foundation of TKOE’s prominence was its proximity to campus. Changing buses three times over a 90-minute just to show up, puke, and leave? No thanks. Sorry, Tommy, but we still love ya.


Who’d we miss? Let us know any more possible replacements in the comments! Then like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and go to the bathroom turn the lights off stand in front of the mirror and say “heinous” three times to connect with us spiritually.

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