The Ultimate Arrested Development Drinking Game

25 May
Lol this makes up for the drones lol!!

Lol this makes up for the drones lol!!

For our generation, this is the big one. It’s the day we’ve been told we would never see, the day we never truly dared to believe in: the day that Arrested Development returns. And now, it’s the day that is upon us.

I think I can speak for everyone when I say that to not celebrate the return of the Bluths would be to make a huge mistake, so we’re here to help. There are several keys to appropriately celebrating the occasion– not the least of which is attempting to host an intervention or putting up celebration banner– but the most important thing is to follow this handy little drinking game so that you 1) appreciate all the #funny jokes that Arrested has to offer and 2) git DRUNKZZI.

What you’ll need: Several beers or mixed drinks, a Netflix account, for it to be sometime after 2am CT on Sunday.

Rules: Drink anytime the game says to. You’d think Maeby we wouldn’t need this section, but you’d Shirley be surprised.

Why? Because you have a problem.

Take one drink anytime:

  • The stair car is seen or referred to
  • Gob says “C’mon!”
  • Gob tries to do a trick an allusion. Take a second sip if he is anything close to successful. Like, not if he actually is successful, just if you can kind of tell where he was going with the whole thing.
  • Steve Holt says his name
  • Lucille has a drink in her hand
  • Annyong exists
  • Anyone says “hayyyy brother”
  • The banana stand is shown or alluded to
  • Someone tries to escape from the police
  • “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
  • Jean jhorts are shown
  • Franklin appears. Two sips is Gob forgets to move Franklin’s mouth when he speaks.
  • Lucille winks
  • Buster has a juice box
  • The cornballer is shown or alluded to. Two drinks if anyone is burned by it.
  • Stan Sitwell appears on screen
  • Lindsay protests a thing
  • Anyone gets a freebie
Maeby she won't, but then again Maeby she will.

Maeby she won’t, but then again Maeby she will.

Take two drinks anytime:

  • Plain Egg Her? Ann is shown on screen
  • Cloudmir vodka is shown, advertised or alluded to
  • Look, banner!
  • Tobias is gay
  • Touching is either banned or encouraged
  • There is sexual tension between George Michael and Maeby
  • The chicken dance is done. Take a third drink if anyone is close to impersonating a chicken. Again, not if they’re successful in acting like a chicken, just if you think to yourself, “Oh, I’d imagine that at some point in the course of Earth’s history, a chicken may have done something almost similar to that.”
  • That fucking doctor is the fucking worst
  • That one cop comes in late with a club
  • Gob is forced to watch his parents have sex (Editor’s Note: we’re beginning to see why this show was cancelled.)
  • Seth Rogen
  • A segway is used or shown
  • Anyone is on a boat
  • Tobias and Ellen’s Lover Lindsay try to make their marriage work
  • Bob Loblaw appears on screen. Take a third drink if Bob Loblaw is working on Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog.
  • Lucille doesn’t care for Gob
  • Stan Sitwell loses his wig or eyebrows or really any hair
  • Gene Parmesan surprises Lucille with a wildly convincing costume

Finish your drink anytime:

  • There is sexual contact between George Michael and Maeby.* If Pete Rose is used to illustrate such contact, find a funnel and buttchug your drink.
  • Carl Weathers appears
  • Buster is a monster
  • “Marry me!”
  • The Funkes allude to a questionable pharmaceutical
  • Ron Howard criticizes someone else’s narration

*For those confused on the definition of sexual contact, I’m sure your 8th grade Health teacher has some helpful VHS tapes for you.

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