Baby’s first movie deal.
LOS ANGELES – Upon hearing the news that the first name of Kanye West’s new born daughter is “North” – as in “Hello, class. Everyone say hi to North West and feel free to make fun of her until she has crippling emotional damage” – the world’s population let out a simultaneous groan, followed by a hearty “are you fucking serious?”
“I really can’t believe anyone would do this to child,” explained millions, as thoughts of the poor girl’s future interactions with classmates, colleagues, and possible employers raced through their heads. “Want to know a name that would have been better than North? ANYTHING,” retorted shocked citizens across the globe. “Call her Stacy, or Jane, maybe Jolisa, or even Kanye Jr. Just don’t name the kid North West.”
As backlash sweeps the nation, Kanye West remains unfazed by the global uproar, stating that his mind was on more pressing matters at the time – his damn croissants.
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