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27 Thoughts That Go Through the Mind of a College Student on Summer Break (Almost) Every Day

29 Jun
Nothing goes with a cigarette quite like a coronarita and VD.

Nothing goes with a cigarette quite like a coronarita and the threat of VD.

1. “I wonder how many times I’ll have to scan this same file.”

2. “No, no – I didn’t come here for a learning experience, I came here to fetch your coffee and pretend to care about your stories.”

3. “What is it even like to be outside during the day?”

4. “New puppy post on Buzzfeed? Sorry responsibilities, you’ll have to wait.”

5. “I wonder how many drinks I’ll need tonight to forget about how horrible this day.”

6. “I wundor hw mny drnks itll b til I blac—“

7. “MAKE THE POUNDING IN MY HEAD STOP.”

8. “Must. Reach. Snooze. Button.”

9. “Goddamnit. Gonna be late again.”

10. “I’m definitely not doing that again tonight.”

11. “SHOT SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS – EVERYBODY!!!!”

12. “Stop posting pictures of your fun and fulfilling paid internship. We all hate you. Yeah, you. Fuck you.”

13. “It looks so nice out! I think I’ll go for a walk today.”

14. “Why is it so fucking hot out? I’m never going outside again.”

15. “What’s Amanda Bynes doing right now?”

16. “GUYS! AMANDA BYNES IS MAKING A RAP RECORD! DO YOU THINK THE DANCING LOBSTERS WILL BE IN ONE OF HER VIDEOS?!?!?!”

17. “What am I doing with my life.”

18. “Maybe I should call some friends and do som—Nevermind. Netflix is working again”

19. “IT’S LIKE YOU’RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEEEEEAAAR. WHEN IT HASN’T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEEEAAARRR!”

20. “Oh look, another camel on my newsfeed. Is the whole country on study abroad right now?”

21. “I wonder if anyone is going to the Deuce tonight.”

22. “Oh my God why are all these old men at the Deuce tonight? I NEED to get out of here.”

23. “I can’t believe I hooked up with that 45-year-old last night.”

24. “WHY IS THAT 45-YEAR OLD ON THE INTERCAMPUS SHUTTLE?!?!? HELP. HELP!!!”

25. “Everyone looks better when they’re dressed up for work.”

26. “Eeeexcept you.”

27. “School needs to start again.”

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