Everyone Totally Notices That One Little Thing You’re Really Self-Conscious About

15 Jul


SEATTLE – A recent survey of everyone you know and hope to meet has revealed that every single person around you constantly acknowledges that one tiny fault that you’re really uncomfortable with.

Though you have hoped that nobody would pay attention to that one little thing you really hate about yourself, sources have confirmed that everyone you’ve ever met and will meet over the course of your entire life is constantly, and will constantly be, paying attention to that specific thing.

“It’s really the only thing that defines him as a person,” said your best friend who swore to never really pay attention to that minute detail that you hated every having to acknowledge. “How could I not notice? It’s disgusting and terrible and really makes him a person that everyone should criticize.”

“It really makes me ashamed of him,” added your loving mother, who despite all of your successes and efforts to be a good person still regrets having created a someone with the imperfection that completely taints your existence. “Not a day goes by that I don’t break down and cry thinking about that one fault of his that should continue to cripple his confidence and lead to self-doubt for the rest of his life.”

In fact, even the love of your life who you’ve yet to meet has been reported as saying that you’ll never overcome that little fault you can’t seem to get your mind off of and that she’ll “never love you as much as a person who didn’t possess that one thing” that you keep worrying about.

According to sources, the one little thing about you that you can’t seem to stop obsessing over has even played a significant role in the lives of people you’ll never meet, as many friendships and relationships have started through strangers commenting on that one tiny fault of yours that everyone notices.

In other news, a recent study by the U.S. Department of State has discovered that every one of your fears will eventually come true and ruin your life in the exact way that has kept you from making any big decisions in your life.

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