21 Things I Would Do For $1

22 Aug
Let's Scrooge McDuck this mofo

Let’s Scrooge McDuck this mofo

As you may have ascertained from my previous posts about college, I recently graduated. It’s great and terrible at the same time. Honestly I’m a wreck. But that’s not what this article is about. This article is about money.

Unless you’re lucky enough to get a full ride scholarship (smart asses) or your parents are paying for all of your school (rich bitches), you’ve probably taken out a student loan or two to pay for your totally-worth-$50K-a-year education. Unfortunately, once you graduate, they expect you to pay those back. Which kinda sucks, especially if your “real job” hasn’t started yet. This is the situation I’m currently in, and it has left me both broke and bored. So, naturally, I’ve compiled a list of things I would do for $1:

1. Hug a stranger (bump it up to $10 and I’d kiss a stranger)

2. Moonwalk down a busy street

3. Count to 10 in all the languages I know at the top of my lungs (that would be English, Spanish, Italian, and Pig Latin)

4. Show a life-size cardboard cut out of a Lord of the Rings character all the (free) local tourist attractions

5. Drink from a dirty park water fountain

6. Audibly fart on public transportation and blame it on the person next to me

7. Join a pretentious blog and post about it on Facebook (oh wait…)

8. Ask for directions to the place I’m at

9. Pay for something entirely in pennies (your pennies, not mine)

10. Start a religious debate on a friend’s status

11. Try to haggle at McDonalds

12. Tell an elderly man he’s sexy

13. Give my number to Pauly Shore

14. Wear an “I ❤ Miley” shirt all day

15. Blatantly start contributing to a group of strangers’ conversation with inappropriate and irrelevant comments

16. Bake you a cake

17. 50 jumping jacks

18. Ask a stranger what the date is and when they answer August 22 yell “NO WHAT YEAR?” and run off nervously

19. Tweet at Flo from the Progressive® commercials asking for her autograph

20. Order in the drive-thru and repeatedly specify that it is “to-go”

21. Argue that Buzzfeed® is a reputable source for determining if you really are a crazy cat lady/addicted to the internet/from [insert your homestate here]

Jenivieve Jelq contributed to the reporting of this sharticle

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One Response to “21 Things I Would Do For $1”

  1. Is Everyone an Idiot but Me? August 23, 2013 at 11:39 am #

    word.

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