Dear Class of 2017,
Three short years ago the class of 2014 shuffled at the pace of a dehydrated desert tortoise because everyone’s parents felt the need to take photos every five steps marched through the arch and commenced the drunk, sweaty adventure that was Wildcat Welcome 2010. In a few weeks, we’re really looking forward to sitting on our front porches, drinking beer that isn’t Busch Light, and watching you wander aimlessly as you try to find that awesome party near the corner of Maple and Simpson.
Right now, you guys might be thinking “Oh, we’re all probably sooo much smarter than the seniors because the admission rate was sooo much higher when they got in. I bet they were all only president of four or five clubs in high school and assistant editor of the paper. What losers.” You guys are probably right: We are way more stupid than you. You kittens just need to remember that you may be the “strongest” in NU’s history “by academic standards” and caused the “the lowest admit rate ever” (you can’t make this stuff up, seriously), but Northwestern seniors went to high school in an era where we didn’t have Instagram to make us look pretty in our prom pics. We had to learn to fake being attractive the old fashioned way.
So, Class of 2017, you may have the brains, but we’ve still got the (less repulsive) looks. Bottom line: We are (sort of) pretty and we have no fucks left to give. Can’t wait to see you on campus! Go ‘Cats!
In the meantime, here are some GIFs representing the transformative journey you’re about to undertake.
Wildcat Love,
The Class of 2014
Taking Intro to Ancient Art
Senior year:
Pro tip: The Block Auditorium is a great place for napping.
When someone asks if you want a Phright Night wristband
Getting a C on the Stats 202 final
When girls talk about rush
Alpha Delta’s pledge class is sooooo much hotter than Kappa Rho Chi Hamster’s PC.
Your ideal Friday night
Freshman year:
How you spend fall reading week
Crying and watching Love Actually
Whenever you see someone from your PWild group
BECAUSE THOSE BONDS ARE FOREVER, BABY
Seeing last night’s hookup on Sheridan Road
When you run into your hot Econ TA at Nevin’s
When you see PTI on campus:
Tailgating an 11 AM football game
GO ‘CATS!
Sherman Ave 
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