8 Reasons Why Milan Fashion Week Needs To Lay Off The LSD

They tried to make Milan go to rehab, but it said, “Non, non, non.” Here’s why we suspect Italy’s most fashionable city is trippin’ hard.

1) Because Thom Browne was apparently inspired by a vision of his dead grandma popping a boner.

“It appears my wee-wee has been stricken with rigor mortis.”

2) Because this is an R.L. Stine novel waiting to happen.

SOMEONE CALL PETA

3) Because some hippie put too much effort into reducing/reusing/recycling their fiber-optic Christmas tree.

4) Because only with a lot of drugs could one conceive of Casual Hawaiian Sleeveless Suit Friday.

“There’s where I put my tablecloth!” – the designer, upon sobering up 

5)     Because, unlike the Eyed Click Beetle, models cannot confuse predators with false eye patterns and a sequined mermaid suit.

6) Because that’s the wrong side, Prada.

Miranda Priestley is disappointed in you, but hey what’s new

7) Because this is about 1mg short of an OD.