Sherman Ave Homecoming Court Voter Guide: Demetri Elias

24 Sep

In June, Sherman Ave sat down with each of the 2013 Homecoming Court nominees for wide-ranging discussions. If any cultural references seem slightly out of date, that’s because that was June and this is September and that’s how time works. Voting for Homecoming King and Queen begins soon!


Packingham: How do you spell your last name?

Demetri: E-L-I-A-S. Elias.

Packingham: Okay, and how do you spell your mother’s maiden name?

Demetri: Pravata. P-R-A-V-A-T-A.

Packingham: And what are you studying?

Demetri: Archaeology and history major and I have a classical studies minor.

Packingham: When did you discover your passion for classical studies?

Demetri: Well, I’ve always wanted to do history, ever since lower school, I’ve really just enjoyed history as a subject. But then I took a gap year and I traveled and I was doing community service for a year and it was awesome. I went all around, it was a super cool experience, I was like coaching soccer in Ghana, I was in Greece working with sea turtles living on the beach, I was outside a lot and doing a lot of hands-on work, and I realized I wanted some sort of job that I could be outside with, so that’s where archaeology came in the picture. Because I wanted to do something historical but be outside and hands-on. And then classics, a lot of distros come from the classics department.

Packingham: So do you basically want to be Indiana Jones when you grow up?

Demetri: I don’t know, I’m going to Israel and Kazakhstan this summer, so that should be fun. But archaeology, you have to go to grad school for like seven years or something. So it’d be cool to maybe work for the government, go to Washington, maybe like the CIA or the State Department or something, and do some sort of intelligence job or something like that.

Packingham: Why did you choose to come to NU?

Demetri: It’s a cool school. Really near Chicago, that was one of the biggest draws for me. I lived in New York most of my life, and I wanted to be near an amazing city, and I wanted to get out of New York, and Chicago was really the next place. And I wanted something with cool school spirit and sports and that kind of stuff. I went to an all boys Catholic high school in Manhattan so we didn’t really have like a football team or a lot of homecoming, that kind of stuff. So I wanted to go to a school that really emphasized that kind of stuff. And I really like purple, soooo…

Packingham: Added bonus!

Demetri: Another reason I wanted to come hear is because I heard we had the primal scream. Any reason to scream like an idiot, to be wild and annoy people in the library, I’m always down.

Packingham: That’s fair. Well we have a question on here that asks who the most relevant person is to come from your hometown, but if you’re from New York that might be a little bit difficult.

Demetri: Yeah. I don’t know. Jay-Z, DeNiro, I’m sure some kind of politicians came from New York…

Packingham: What is your favorite and least favorite thing about New York?

Demetri: My favorite thing is there’s just so much to do there. I like it being big, I like it being crowded. Everyone says it’s dirty, I just think it has character. It’s like my home, so I just love the city, I love the city life. I love going out any time of night, there’s lights on, there’s people and there’s cars. What’s my least favorite thing? I don’t know, that’s hard. I don’t know if I have a least favorite thing about New York.

Packingham: Does it ever annoy you that it’s in so many movies?

Demetri: Oh, I love it! Everything on TV is in New York. I’ll have to come back to that question.

Packingham: Moving on, herpes or chlamydia? Choose wisely.

Demetri: Okay, I’m going to say herpes. And the reason is, I’m obsessed with glitter, and glitter is considered the herpes of the arts and crafts world. So that’s the connection there.

Packingham: So if you had to marry, screw and kill someone on the homecoming court, who would it be?

Demetri: Okay, that’s hard. I don’t want to do this! Who would I marry? I’d marry Savannah, because I was a cheerleader with her. I would…who would I kill? I’d kill Ryan Bernsten. I think he’s my biggest competition. That’s the only reason I’d kill him. And, um…who would I just screw? I wouldn’t screw, I would make love to Kylie. Because she’s beautiful.

Packingham: Okay. So if you had to marry, screw and kill one person, as in marry them, then screw them, then kill them, who would it be?

Demetri: Oh, that’s so mean! That’s so weird. I’m not good at this kind of stuff. Who would I want to marry, and then kill? That’s a hard decision. In life, or in the homecoming court?

Packingham: On the homecoming court.

Demetri: Oh okay. Um…I don’t know. I feel like such a loser, I can’t answer this question. I’m going to kill Ryan again, because he’s the competition.

Packingham: Marry, screw and kill Ryan?

Demetri: Yes!

Packingham: Great! So what’s your favorite Native American tribe?

Demetri: The, um…I like Dances With Wolves, I’m going to say the Sioux.

Packingham: The Kevin Costner tribe?

Demetri: The Kevin Costner tribe, yeah. Yes.

Packingham: What are your thoughts on updog?

Demetri: Who?

Packingham: Updog.

Demetri: I don’t know what that is. What is this?

Packingham: Updog?

Demetri: Updog.

Packingham: Yeah.

Demetri: I don’t know what that is.

Packingham: What do you mean?

Demetri: What’s updog?

Packingham: IT HAPPENED! IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!

[a rather long celebration]

Packingham: Okay, sorry. Just had to get that out of the way.

Demetri: Okay…

Packingham: Anyway. Would you call yourself an orange glowstick kind of person or a pink glowstick kind of person?

Demetri: Um, orange? Is there a reason for that question?

Packingham: There’s not a reason for any of these questions.

Demetri: Orange, I don’t know, I don’t like pink very much

Packingham: Do you think that’s going to alienate some of the student body?

Demetri: I hope it doesn’t.

Packingham: So when was the last time you stood in the shower listening to Adele and just weeping for hours on end?

Demetri: Oh, like last night.

Packingham: Great, just making sure we’re on the same page. Do you have a favorite bar in Evanston or Chicago?

Demetri: I don’t know why you’re asking me that question. That’s a mean question. Rest in peace, The Keg.

Packingham: I know. I was just thinking that.

Demetri: I couldn’t answer that. The Keg. It will always be The Keg.

Packingham: Yeah, it’s too soon. We should honor the dead. What’s your favorite movie franchise that made one too many movies? Your options are Rocky, The Fast and the Furious, and the Village.

Demetri [laughing]: This is the best question. The Village.

Packingham: Okay, so you have a Northwestern bucket list?

Demetri: Yeah, I want to paint one of those rocks near the lakefill.

Packingham: So is it going to be like asking someone to marry you?

Demetri: Personal advertisement for myself.

Packingham: You’ll have a picture, a website. Do you think we’re at a point with technology where you can paint a hyperlink onto a rock? So someone just clicks their foot on it and it goes to their smartphone?

Demetri: If they click their foot on it?

Packingham: I don’t know, I’m just spitballing here.

Demetri: I think, if somebody paints it well enough, if you take the picture with your iPhone, definitely.

Packingham: Ohhhh yeah I hadn’t thought of that. So who’s your favorite band?

Demetri: My favorite band. I don’t know, I’m not a band kind of dude. I like Fun. I’m more of, I like Mika in terms of single artists.

Packingham: Yeah, artists in general.

Demetri: I’m obsessed with Lady Gaga. I’ve seen her nine times.

Packingham: Wow. That’s…I didn’t even know she’s performed that many times.

Demetri: I was supposed to see her 10 times then she got injured. So I’m obsessed with Lady Gaga. And I like Mika as well.

Packingham: That’s legit. If you had to pit Lady Gaga and Mika against each other in a gladatorial battle, who do you think would win?

Demetri: Lady Gaga would probably have some weird costume on her boobs and just like shoot him away.

Packingham: Like in Austin Powers?

Demetri: Yeah, exactly.

Packingham: Could you describe your ideal date?

Demetri: April 26th, it’s not too warm, not too cold. I’m very low-key. Just like, dinner.

Packingham: What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken at Northwestern?

Demetri: The hardest class, I’m in a Stats class right now and it’s not very hard, just hard to sit through. The teacher, she’s taught us how to read a chart about 26 times.

Packingham: I mean, you’ll know at least.

Demetri: If you don’t know how to read a chart, you shouldn’t be at Northwestern. It’s just hard to sit through.

Packingham: Aren’t you concerned that you might alienate some of our student body who can’t read charts? I understand you MC’d Relay for Life this year…

Demetri: Oh come on

Packingham: Can you talk about your experience DMing MC this year? 

Demetri: DMing MC?

Packingham: Using only pig latin.

Demetri: I couldn’t do that. Chloe was an amazing partner. It was a cool process because it wasn’t just a weekend for us. Beforehand we went to all of the special events, which was cool to interact with all the dancers, a lot of the kids. The productions team, dancer relations, and all the people involved, all awesome people. It was literally a dream come true. I was scared that I would get tired and want to fall asleep, but not at one point did I really get tired. I was awake the entire time, the crowd was going wild the entire time. Every second I had on that stage was unbelievable. And the Danny Did foundation is great. I’ve had somebody in my family affected by epilepsy, so it was wonderful to work with an organization that did really cool stuff.

Packingham: What else are you involved in on campus besides DM?

Demetri: DM was probably the biggest thing I did this year. But I’m in a fraternity, I’m in PIKE. I was interim president for winter quarter, the same time I was MCing. I’m also the philanthropy chair of PIKE, so I was our DM head. We raised $27,000 more than last year, so PIKE and KAPPA raised $70,000 this year, so I was really proud of that. I’m also on Greek Build, for Greeks to do–Greeks being fraternity and sorority people, not Grecians–it helps people get involved in philanthropy. I’m a tour guide, which is awesome. I love Northwestern. I was a CA, I’m going to be a PA, I’m excited about that.

Packingham: Are you going to be anything else ending in ‘A’? Like a B.A.? Are you getting your bachelors in arts? Let’s see, are you going to be a D.A.? A District Attorney? 

Demetri: Noooo

Packingham: Are you certain? You can be a T.A. though. The possibilities are endless. There are 26, at least. 

Demetri: I was also a cheerleader for three years here. I was on the spirit squad, but I’m not doing it next year.

Packingham: So you do a lot of shit.

Demetri: Yeah, I like Northwestern. I try to get involved. I want to meet as many people as possible.

Packingham: So you said you’re going to Israel. If everyone from Homecoming Court was one of the twelve tribes of Israel, who would Alex Matelski be, and who would Roopali be? 

Demetri: I don’t know the tribes of Israel.

Packingham: I’m like 80% sure that one of them is the Levites.

Demetri: That’s one. I think?

Packingham: Okay, so they’ll both be the Levites. Would you dance if I asked to dance?

Demetri: Haha yes!

Packingham: And would you run and never look back? 

Demetri: Oh my god yes! He’s my favorite artist.

Packingham: How do you respond to rumors that Iglesias is coming for Dillo?

Demetri: I would be so happy. I know all his songs.

Packingham: Really? How many does he have? Like, three?

Demetri: No, I can sing maybe, like, ten of his songs. You can play the music in the background and I can get really into it and dance.

Packingham: You seem pretty involved on campus. I’ve got to ask, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had two midterms and a paper tomorrow and then an exec meeting until 9 and a dinner date he really CANNOT cancel? You can answer in pounds or kilograms. 

Demetri: He’d probably go to sleep. You know, obviously. Instead of doing any of the work, he’d probably just be chucking instead. We’re Northwestern students. We procrastinate a shit ton. He could probably get to 70 kilos.

Packingham: I only know how much that is in reference to cocaine. Some people say that Homecoming Court is just a popularity contest that doesn’t accurately reflect the student community. I don’t actually have a question here, I just wanted to let you know that there’s dissent among your potential subjects. Would you rule the Homecoming Court like Roberts on the Supreme Court or LeBron on the hardwood court? 

Demetri: Oh, like LeBron. He’s good at what he does. And he got the ring.

Packingham: Have you ever felt personally victimized by Patricia Telles-Irvin?

Demetri: Personally, no.

Packingham: Has somebody you hold dear to you every been victimized by PTI?

Demetri: I probably shouldn’t be answering.

Packingham: Okay, real quick. I want to give you the set-up for a punchline, and then see what you can come up with. Knock knock?

Demetri: Who’s there?

Packingham: That’s your punchline? 

Demetri: I hate you. Do you have any more questions?

Packingham: Oh, absolutely. Can you talk about your favorite Taylor Swift song and how it represents what you’ve learned about overcoming adversity?

Demetri: Oh, it’s clearly “22.” Because I am 22. And the lyrics actually really speak to me. Because it’s just so real.

Packingham: Would you say your spirit animal is a silverback gorilla or a rabid mutt?

Demetri: Okay, if I have to pick an animal then I’ll go with gorilla, I’m actually obsessed with gorillas. But my real spirit animal is Ke$ha.

Packingham: Yeah… I don’t even know if she’s an organism still.

Demetri: She’s just glitter.

Packingham: Who’s your favorite ethnically ambiguous character in the Harry Potter series? 

Demetri: Hagrid is kind of species-ambiguous. Is he giant or human? I’ll have to go with Buckbeak. Or Voldemort. Like what the hell is he? He doesn’t even look like a real person!

Packingham: Please keep your voice down when discussing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Can you define “Northwestern Hot?”

Demetri: Can anyone? I look at people’s insides, not their outsides. I look at their personalities. How’s that?

Packingham: Do you remember that time a fucksaw was used in a live in-class demonstration? Wasn’t that cool? 

Demetri: That was fucking cool. I’m a fan of, just, education. That’s my platform. I support the fucksaw.

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