The Official College Gameday Drinking Game

4 Oct

It’s official, Wildkittens — Gameday is coming to Evanston to nationally air the Northwestern Wildcats beating the An Ohio State University Buckeyes. It’s our job as students to prove that we do, in fact, have people rooting for us to win this game who aren’t just Michigan fans. We MUST have a decent fanbase in purple, not just in “beat fucking An Ohio State” shirts.

This.

This game is finally our chance to prove to the football-watching nation that our school is not, in fact, in Boston. This is our chance to finally differentiate our school from Kim and Kanye’s offspring. No, we are not a Hitchcock movie either. This is our day to get drunk and pretend like we have school spirit year-round. Grab your purple face-paint, cat-ears headbands, fla-bongos of Skol, and get ready for the biggest shitshow of the season. Let’s show the nation what NerdWasted is all about! There will be some saddddd cheerleaders and band members if the fan section isn’t getting rowdy and growling.

Cheerleaders are sad because they don’t get to pregame by doing the alcohol.

So, my fellow HeinousCats, here are the official rules of how to get shitfaced for ESPN’s Gameday in Evanston:

Wake Up.
Turn Up.
Go fucking ‘Cats.

You’re fucking adults, you don’t need a “game” to force you to get hammered FOR GAMEDAY. C’mon. Put that 35 composite ACT score to use with some common-drinking-sense that ESPN needs to see some hot biddies downing shots on the lakefill.

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