If Every Big Ten School Were A Parks And Rec Character

University of Illinois as Jean-Ralphio

“Technically I’m homelessss.”

Both are broke, but they still manage to have a good time anyways. Got off on a technicalllllityyy!

Indiana University as Leslie Knope

“The only thing I’m guilty of is loving Pawnee… and punching Lindsay in the face and shoving a coffee filter down her pants.”

Leslie devotes her entire existence to the town of Pawnee. Which is in Indiana. Soooo.

University of Iowa as Ann Perkins

“Hey! Did you maybe tell people that I diagnosed that guy with mumps based on his porn photo? Because now I have everyone in city hall sending me pictures of their junk asking me if they have mumps.”

Neither stand out, but both are classically midwestern and always around.

University of Michigan as Ron Swanson

“Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”

Just as many see Ron Swanson as the face of the Pawnee Parks Department, many consider Michigan to be a staple force in the Big Ten. Both maintain strong traditions, but tend to dwell on past accomplishments while coasting through the present. We can all admit that sometimes we feel a bit emasculated compared to these entities.

Michigan State University as Joan Callamezzo

“Drink up, Tom. I’m gonna go powder my nose…amongst other things. If you know what I mean.”

Both are hot messes that are constantly shitfaced. Having a show on a community television station is a big deal for both of them.

University of Minnesota as April Ludgate

“Hello. I’m April Ludgate. I’m twenty-years-old. I like people, places and things.”

Everyone knows them, but they are still so mysterious. (What goes on over there in Minnesota?)

University of Nebraska as Marcia Langman

“[This painting] should be burned here first, burned in hell second.”

Marcia Langman would be a huge proponent of Nebraska’s anti-drinking policies, as she is often a proponent of anti-anything.

Northwestern University as Ben Wyatt

“You know, ‘nerd culture’ is mainstream now. So, when you use the word ‘nerd’ derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist.”

Like Ben, Northwestern thrives on nerd culture (Game of Thrones fans, raise your hands), overachieves and fails to get respect from lesser institutions despite being intelligent.

Ohio State University as Jerry

NOBODY LIKES YOU JERRY.

Penn State University as Andy Dwyer

“Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.”

Both make up for their lack of education with free spirits and rowdy fun.

Purdue University as Mark Brendanawicz

“Why does anybody wanna run for public office? You’re just asking to have your entire life exposed.”

Forgot about him? Like Brendanawicz, Purdue is bland and forgettable.

University of Wisconsin as Tom Haverford

“Oh, what’s this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I’m walking on red carpet.”

Tom’s boyishness and naivety would make him feel right at home at Wisconsin. However, no one can deny that both know how to throw down.