Championship Round | Sherman Ave Presents: Best Winter Quarter Distros 2014

18 Nov

Screen Shot 2013-11-15 at 8.57.25 AM

After four grueling rounds, here we are. It’s been a long and hard road for Modern Cosmology and Psych Stats, who both faced a process more strenuous and harrowing than registering for classes on CAESAR to reach the Championship Round in the first annual Best Winter Quarter Distro Bracket Challenge, sponsored by Klondike®! 32 courses entered, but only one can be crowned as the best embodiment of all the qualities that should comprise a distro: Easy, interesting, and compatible with the side-effects of early-onset collegiate alcoholism and/or nihilism.

In one corner we have Modern “Moko Loko” Cosmology, the distro equivalent of a kid in a tie-dye t-shirt lecturing you about discovering the sublime in the musical stylings of Phish. After rocking Ancient Athens: Democracy, Drama, and Civilization in the Final Four like the Millennium Falcon navigating the Hoth Asteroid Belt,* Modern Cosmology looks to continue its dominant streak that has left all opponents filled with an existential dread worse than gazing into space’s vast nothingness as cold and unforgiving as Jim Phillip’s heart.

But Modern Cosmology will be put to the t-test when it faces Psych Stats, a group of ragtag standard deviants under the fearless leadership of Professor Gorvine. Gorvine, whose enthusiasm for proving correlation is only matched by the unparalleled arm flexibility afforded by his sweater vests, looks to build off of his semifinal smearing of 4th-seeded Cyberqueer to take the vaunted Klondike®! Distro Champion trophy. While Modern Cosmology attempts to go to infinity and beyond, it’ll be up to Psych Stats to avoid regressing to the mean.

Now vote! It’s the last chance we’ll have to influence a meaningless competition until ASG elections, and anyway it’s apparently easier to select a class through us than to register for one online at NU. Voting ends on the final day of registration, Thursday at midnight!

*”Sir, the possibility of successfully attending every discussion section is approximately 3,720 to 1!”
Never tell me the odds.”

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Championship Round | Sherman Ave Presents: Best Winter Quarter Distros 2014”

  1. A November 20, 2013 at 9:21 pm #

    Gotta be Modern Cos

  2. Frosh November 20, 2013 at 11:22 pm #

    The final day of registration isn’t on Thursday, I can’t enroll until Friday. Check your privilege. #freshmanproblems #8amcalculus

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. How To Fail Your Finals Gracefully: An Urgent Letter From Your Exceptionally Well-Prepared Classmates | Sherman Ave - December 9, 2013

    […] are the members of the class that make up that 100-level distro you thought would be easy but woops you forgot at Northwestern every class is weed-out.  You may […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: