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Formals: What You Wear And What It Says About You

21 Nov

Formal season is in full swing and it can be stressful to decide what to wear.  The Ave has generously gone through all the outfit options men and women have to let you know what they will say about you.

(Via virtualdj.com, whatever the hell that is)

Women-Tight dress:  This one is risky.  Sometimes it feels good to wear a dress that hugs you, but you do run the risk of communicating that you’re too promiscuous.  

Men-Suit:  Excellent choice.  You’re going to look great and everyone is going to notice you.  No ramifications, just enjoy yourself, you stud muffin.

Women-Extravagant dress:  This can be risky.  It shows that you know how to rock a classy piece of clothing, but you run the risk of communicating that you’re too flashy.

Men-Suit:  Ah yes, the comfortable and stylish choice. You look great in that suit. Everyone thinks you look great — and why shouldn’t they? Suits make everyone look better.  Keep on rocking, you all-star.

Women- Casual black dress:  This can be a bit risky. It’s easy to wear, but you run the risk of communicating that you’re too bland.

Men-Suit:  Are you still wearing that suit? My God, you look great.  Brilliant in fact.  Everyone in the room is your friend, and the only thing you communicate is raw success.

Women- Your favorite dress that you always good in: This is tad bit risky.  Obviously you look great, but if you wear it more than once, you run the risk of communicating that you don’t have a variety of things to wear.

Men- Suit: Look how confident you look! You truly are an adult now.

Women- Suit:  This can be risky.  I’m sure you look very professional, but no one wants to hear how you plan to promote synergy.  You run the risk of communicating that you’re not very fun.

Men- Suit:  You look like you know how to have a good time.  Don’t change a damn thing — that suit makes you look like a celebrity. You know that Dos Equis guy? That’s you. That’s the social status you have achieved, and by God, you’ve earned it. So fasten that tie and let the party marvel at just how perfect you really are.

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