Rob Ford Knocking Over an Old Woman vs. Rob Ford Walking into Camera: An Analysis

24 Nov

When a mayor admits to crack use and is subsequently stripped of his powers, Sherman Ave admires in sheer awe. That’s why we’ve followed the steady descent of Toronto Mayor Elizabeth Tisdahl’s Rob Ford’s political career into profound heinousness with a tip of the hat and a wink of approval. To determine his progress, we’ve compared two of Ford’s physical blunders over the past six months in a competition which will now universally be known as “Rob Ford Encounters People/Things in his Path.” Here are the two contestants:

Ford in April 2013, while walking down a hallway:

Ford in November 2013, while confronting a political adversary:

And in gif form:

November

April

Chivalry Factor: April. In the November incident, Ford picks up and grabs an elderly woman in his path before dropping her to the floor ten steps later. Statistically speaking, this must be the least courteous move by a politician ever captured on film.

Yards after Contact: November. Ford loses the ground battle versus the camera, while falling forward for a positive gain after colliding with the woman.  The improvement from April to November is most likely due to hours in the gym – or crack use.

Sympathy Factor: April. Once your ribs stop aching from laughing, note the small knot of compassion for Ford and his bruised face nestling in your heart.

Overall Speed: November. Ford rounds the corner at a considerable jog before almost body slamming the white-haired councilwoman – in April, he calmly walks when he head-butts the camera (this should, however, make the force of his impact on the camera all the more impressive).

Face-Scrunching Factor: April. See gif above.

Overall Winner: April.

 It will be hard to beat this classic man vs. inanimate object confrontation, whose only potential competition was lost when this dandy was not captured on camera. That said, there is still hope for Ford to descend further into heinousness, and we patiently await his next collision.

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