The Daily Terror of a Medilldo in 301

3 Dec

9:00 Wake up. Think to yourself, why didn’t I try to be a doctor instead.

9:45 Leave for the Davis Street Station. Glare at happy-looking people.

9:58 Arrive at the El. The smell of cat pee is now associated with broken dreams.

10:15 After train stalls for three four five minutes, arrive at Howard

10:16 Wait to transfer to the Red Line

10:20 Still waiting to transfer to the Red Line

10:27 IT’S 20 FUCKING DEGREES OUTSIDE WHO THE FUCK IS RUNNING THE FUCKING RED LINE. I SWEAR TO SATAN I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND—

10:28 The Red Line arrives

You know this Purple Line is real, because it doesn’t say “Linden” on it.

10:45 Class begins in Edgewater. Today we’re going to get another safety lecture

10:50 If you don’t travel in pairs one of you will surely die on the unforgiving streets of Chicago

11:25 Your partner: omg dont u just luv this class

11:26 (Internally)

11:30 Film 6 people in the next two days and create an Al-Jazeera worthy video. ‘Cause fuck CNN/Fox News/MSNBC/JUST FUCK BROADCAST JOURNALISM IT ALL SUCKSSSSssssss JOURNALISM IS DYINGGGGGG YOU POOR MOTHERFUCKER$$$ EVEN CONDE NAST DOESN’T WANT YOUUU

12:07 What do you mean the alderman doesn’t want to get interviewed by 6 different students for a class project? Clearly you’re a horrible journalist

12:12 Why am I spending a quarter of a million dollars on a journalism education

12:17 Secretly look up the starting salary for a journalism major…

12:18 Die a little inside

12:21 Facebook

12:25 Reddit

12:31 Maybe I should talk to people in the community…

12:45 Resort to walking around outside and asking for strangers to be in your class video.

12:53 Business Owner: How does my business benefit from getting interviewed by you? Only 10 people in your class will ever see this.

12:54 You: yes, I see your point. Lez bring this up with Medill, shall we

1:30 After six rejections and one interview, it begins raining.

1:32 HAILING.

1:45 Might as well go back to Evanston now

2:03 El has an existential crisis and stalls on the track

2:15 Check your email—oh, a grade! All that hard work does pay off!

2:16 MEDILL F

2:30 How can I steal that Purple Line map…

2:45 Is that guy across from me literally jacking off

2:50 OH EVANSTON, HOW I’VE MISSED THEE

2:51 Realize you have to return tomorrow between two discussions because the fucking source finally got fucking back to you.

3:45 Remember that list of story ideas was due via email an hour ago

3:48 Oh whoops forgot to tweet too

4:00 Begin looking up the requirements to transfer into McCormick*

4:04 SESP*

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One Response to “The Daily Terror of a Medilldo in 301”

  1. andy December 4, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

    “Glare at happy-looking people”

    “why didn’t I try to be a doctor instead” (because doctors, obviously, wake up after 9am)

    If you’re waking up for class at 9am & wrapping up your workday by 4pm, you should be a happy looking person. Stop thinking your life sucks just because you’re in undergrad & have to go to class. This is coming from an NU alum who now has to wake up every day at 4:30am for surgery pre-rounds & who doesn’t get home until 7pm most days. Suck it up & enjoy your easy-peasy college life.

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