Considering our Options for the ASG 10k Initiative

6 Dec
Our suggestion from last year, which has yet to be passed by President Ani "The Punisher" Ajith.

Our suggestion from last year, which has yet to be passed by President Ani “The Punisher” Ajith.

What would you do with 10,000 dollars? Associated Student Government, as you may know, asks the entire student body this question every year. ASG then applies this sum toward the best answer. I spoke with several members of the Northwestern community regarding their opinion on the matter.

Cameron Jibril Thomas, Ph. D., Psychologist, CAPS: In light of Northwestern’s mental health epidemic, CAPS has responded with different services – clinical services, workshops, etc. – but there is a more effective and far-reaching option. $10,000 could buy 10 pounds of weed and go a long way to improving mental health on campus.

Gary Hart, Senator, ASG: I’ve been thinking about this, and there really just isn’t a lot of awareness for the 10k initiative. Maybe we could spend the money on increasing the profile of the campaign? Or we could pay to keep the lights on at Norris past 12 on Wednesdays.

Manolo Sanchez, Personal Assistant, Office of the President: Dr. Morton doesn’t like walking in the snow, and I don’t like trailing behind him either. A two person Segway certainly is an  excellent investment.

Steve McCoy, Brother, Tau Iota Tau: 10,000 dollars? Natty for DAYS, bro. For days…

Al Cubbage, Vice-President for University Relations, Northwestern University: Bribing U.S. News & World Report to finally move us past those pricks at Wash U.

Sherwin Williams, Deputy Enforcer, Animal Services: Campus Scapegoat

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