50 Column Headlines You Wouldn’t be Surprised to See in The Daily

10 Mar
  • (via Twitter)

    (via Twitter)

    Johnson: Cars Have Wheels

  • Johnson: Radiators Helpful In Winter

  • Johnson: Rolly Chairs More Mobile Than Normal Chairs

  • Johnson: Staplers More Useful With Staples Than Without

  • Johnson: TV Good Way To Watch Moving Pictures

  • Johnson: Losing Keys Creates Problems

  • Johnson: Jaywalking Can Occasionally Be Dangerous

  • Johnson: Russia Might Be The Largest Country In The World

  • Johnson: It’s Warmer When The Sun Is Out

  • Johnson: Lake Michigan Probably Larger Than Lagoon On Campus

  • Johnson: For Theater Majors, South Campus Is The Place To Live

  • Johnson: T-Mobile Maybe Not The Best Service Provider

  • Johnson: Diet and Exercise The Key To Losing Weight

  • Johnson: Eating Out Can Be More Expensive

  • Johnson: Can Candy Crush Saga Teach Us Something About The Financial Crisis Of 2008?
  • Johnson: Start Your Papers Well Before They’re Due

  • Johnson: When It’s Cold Out, Take The Shuttles

  • Johnson: Many Students Participate In Dance Marathon

  • Johnson: Stubbing Your Toe Can Really Hurt

  • Johnson: Let’s Start A Conversation!

  • Johnson: Support Your Fellow Students

  • Johnson: The Civil War Happened From 1861 to 1865

  • Johnson: Hitler Was Not A Good Guy

  • Johnson: The Syrian Civil War Needs A Solution

  • Johnson: Yogurt Is Part Of A Healthy Breakfast

  • Johnson: Sharing Netflix Passwords Is Cheating

  • Johnson: I Have A Lot Of Homework

  • Johnson: Jacksonville Jaguars Not A Good Football Team

  • Johnson: Alexander Graham Bell Invented The Telephone

  • Johnson: Drinking Alcohol Has Short-Term Consequences

  • Johnson: Beyonce Can Both Sing And Dance

  • Johnson: Seven Is A Prime Number

  • Johnson: In Snowy Weather, Boots Are Preferable To Sandals

  • Johnson: Israel, Palestine Should Reach Peaceful Agreement

  • Johnson: Study Abroad Offers Great Opportunity To Study In Another Country

  • Johnson: Death Penalty Potentially Lethal To Death Row Prisoners

  • Johnson: Abortion Is A Controversial Topic

  • Johnson: Remember To Fill Out CTECs

  • Johnson: Tech Is A Big Building

  • Johnson: Often, Seniors Are Older Than Freshmen

  • Johnson: Maps Are A Helpful Way To Get To Places

  • Johnson: Make Sure To Read Terms And Conditions

  • Johnson: When Was The Last Time You Cleaned Your Room?

  • Johnson: Laptops In Class Can Be Distracting

  • Johnson: Unprotected Sex Not The Safest Choice

  • Johnson: Commercials Often Just Want You To Buy A Product

  • Johnson: More Expensive Things Tend To Be Nicer, More Durable

  • Johnson: Go Wildcats!!!

  • Johnson: People With Chodes Shouldn’t Be Made Fun Of, Not Like I Have One Or Anything Though

  • Johnson: Things Exist

– Ross Packingham, Sir Edward Twattingworth III, and Prince Giblets

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