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Guy in Library Eating Chips Very Loudly

18 Mar

Portrait of a young man eating potato chipsEVANSTON, Il – While studying for your Economics 310-1 final this afternoon in the References section of University Library, reports have confirmed that the guy using the desk directly next to yours has begun to eat a small bag of potato chips, making a significant amount of chewing noises in the process.

The guy, who you do not know and have never seen before, has removed a bag of Lay’s Baked Sour Cream and Onion potato chips from his backpack, and is now opening them, crinkling the paper-thin bag in the process.  He is proceeding, according to reports, to eat each chip not only loudly and vigorously, but slowly; which, you notice, only adds to the distinctly audible and somewhat unsettling sounds of mastication the guy is creating.  The numerous reports also state that there is no way you will be able to focus on the Solow growth model or the equilibrium price and quantity in a monopolistic market as long as this guy is taking his sweet time eating those chips in the most distracting way possible.

In addition, you have also noticed, after sneakily raising your eyes slightly above the dividing wall between your desk and his, that the guy has situated on his desk a Snickers bar and a bottle of Cherry Coke, the consumption of which will inevitably distract you just enough to leave the library altogether and resolve to just go study in your dorm room instead.

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