EVANSTON, Il. – According to multiple sources within your consciousness, the conversation you are currently imagining with that cute girl in the front row of your Econ 202 class is going really well, and you are coming off as uncharacteristically charming and witty. Throughout this hypothetical exchange, the female with approachable, sort of “girl next door” good looks is laughing at all of your jokes—as they are being delivered with impeccable comedic timing—and understands all of the obscure pop culture references. She has even probably watched and can quote lines from the entire Monty Python TV series, much to your pretend surprise.
The “down-to-earth” personality that you have invented for this girl—based largely off the fact that she is wearing Converses and has a Bon Iver sticker on her laptop—seems to be a perfect match for your discriminating taste in attractive females. Throughout the make-believe exchange she has even been dropping subtle hints that she is romantically interested, but reports from your inner monologue have confirmed that you are planning on taking this new imaginary relationship slowly after things fake-ended so badly with that pretty redhead from winter’s organic chemistry lecture.
I’m rubber; you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and APPLIES TO BE A WRITER FOR SHERMAN AVE.