Sherman Ave’s Prospie Guide

14 Apr

ArchHey there, Prospie!

Yes, you with the purple folder! Now that you’ve been waitlisted from Stanford admitted to Northwestern and probably some other places not worth mentioning, you sure have a tough choice ahead of you. Boy, this is probably the hardest decision you’ve had to make since choosing which AP classes to take! Haha aren’t we so relatable to the high school demographic? Anyways, now that we’ve won you over with our topical humor and you’re done being assaulted by every student group on campus at the activities fair—which Sherman Ave would never do to you because the university (justifiably) refuses to recognize us as an official student group so we aren’t allowed to have a booth we are considerate—you’re probably overwhelmed and looking for some guidance. Are all the schools you’re choosing between blending together? Don’t you wish someone would be honest with you about what life is really like at Northwestern? Buck up, lil prospie, that’s what big bro Sherman Ave is here for. We’ll be honest with you to the point where you wish we’d tone it down a little because we’re making you uncomfortable. Check out our prospie F.A.Q. below, and be sure to visit us again at http://www.sherman-ave.com for more sexy pieces of literature such as our freshman guide. Hope to see you at Northwestern next year because otherwise we’ll be crushed and blame ourselves!

Go ‘Cats, Go heinous or Go home,

Sherman Ave

Twitter: @Shermanave1

Facebook: Sherman Ave

 

 F.A.Q.

How bad are Chicago winters?

You know how they say traumatic experiences bring people together? Let’s just say come wintertime, there are few campuses with a more close-knit community than at Northwestern. BOOM, how’s that for a PR spin? Besides, the weather can’t be all that bad, otherwise we’d all just go to school in California, right? Right?? Tl;dr You’ll live.

What are your favorite things about Northwestern?

The exceptional academics, DILLO, the vibrant and beautiful campus setting, DILLO, the intelligent, energetic and engaged student body, DILLO, DILLO, DILLO FOREVERRRRRR. And of course, Morton O. “Morty” Schapiro.

What are your least favorite things about Northwestern?

Ha, we won’t tell you until you get here!!! And that we’re only ranked #12 in U.S. News & World Report’s definitive Best Colleges (Our parents are SO disappointed that we didn’t make the top 10). But boy will you really wish you knew that one awful thing about Northwestern that no one will tell you before you made your decision.

Why should I choose Northwestern?

We’re WAY hotter than those nerds over at WashU/ UChicago/ Michigan/Brown/that-one-school-you’re-considering-that-has-way-better-weather. I hear they all hate Beyoncé and use “literally” the wrong way.

One Response to “Sherman Ave’s Prospie Guide”

  1. ex-wildcat April 14, 2014 at 1:56 pm #

    “boy will you really wish you knew that one awful thing about Northwestern that no one will tell you before you made your decision.”

    Woah, that hit close to home. So true. It’s hard to find brutally honest people when you’re a prospie. Out of pride or whatever else, no one wants to emphasize what they’re dissatisfied with.

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