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Reality vs Expectations: the College Classroom Edition

16 Apr
Look at me I'm so disdained. Fuq u, school. When will Summer cum. I mean come.

Look at me I’m so disdained. Fuq u, school. When will Summer cum. I mean come. [via dvdactive.com]

Either I’m really bad at taking notes or these exams are vastly more complicated than what we’re taught in lecture.

Statistics
Lecture: 1+2 =3
Exam: Solve for cancer

Art
Lecture: Humans have created wondrous art throughout the ages
Exam: How does this ceramic vagina make you feel?

Econ
Lecture: Mark Witte talks about guns and butter
Exam: Now fix Europe

Film
Lecture: Great movies tug at the heartstring and leave us identifying with the characters
Exam: Write an alternate ending to Spring Breakers

Gender Studies
Lecture: We’re going to cover intimate details on 19th century sexualities in Paris
Exam: Why are you still single

Journalism
Lecture: You need to need to spend an hour reading about Afghanistan’s elections if you want to do well on these current events quizzes
Exam: Who won the Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album last night

International Relations
Lecture: ‘MURRICA
Exam: Write as fast as you can for the next 200 minutes and make sure to drop in words like “hegemony”

Advanced Psychology
Lecture: Freud is wrong and you are not qualified to psychoanalyze anyone
Exam:  You will question your own sanity and try to diagnose everyone you know

English
Lecture: Everything is either a Christ figure or a phallus
Exam: Now tell me the name of a character who briefly appeared in one scene

Philosophy
Lecture: Things are things, is there a God? The answer is what you want it to be
Exam: You have 50 minutes to write an essay on the meaning of life

Intro to Psychology
Lecture: Penis
Exam: Describe how the fabric of interconnecting cells that blankets the brain hemispheres interacts with the amygdala to produce emotional responses

Geography
Lecture: Here’s where South Carolina is.
Exam: Draw a to-scale map of the Canadian maritime provinces

Teaching Education
Lecture: Children are the future
Exam: Leave school for a quarter and question your own future

Lady Keystone, Charlotte Clunt, Felicity Jenkins, Clint Taurus

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One Response to “Reality vs Expectations: the College Classroom Edition”

  1. Techismylife April 16, 2014 at 7:52 pm #

    No Science? Disappointed.

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