Don’t you hate it when you go to a fancy shmancy restaurantay and the menu is in a different fucking language? Never fear, Sherman Ave is here to translate that gibberish for you. We actually found that most restaurants don’t even know what they’re saying, either.
Oh, so THIS is what I ordered…
Jorawini-a classic dish consisting of a large, savory sausage stuffed with broiled spinach and mozzarella cheese grilled to perfection, seasoned with crushed red pepper and garlic.
“You’re a weenie”- Continue reading
EVANSTON, Il.—Mayfest spokesman announced early Friday morning that, as per Google Doc request, the Dillo Day headliner will be Rebecca Black, a female.
“After seeing a link to a Google Doc that read ‘BRING A FEMALE ARTIST TO DILLO DAY’ throughout our newsfeed,” Mayfest spokesman Connor Dart said, “we decided Continue reading
Want to have a Christmas experience like we do at the Ave?
Here are just a few things you’ll need to make sure you have a Merry Heinmas:
1. Ugly sweaters, Santa hats, and reindeer antlers
Just the basics.
Lots and lots of alcohol. You wouldn’t want to hang out with your closest friends and family sober, now would you?
3. A good present
Suggestions: leather handcuffs, a framed picture of kittens, 300 pages of your Japanese homework, porn, three copies of a book that literally nobody likes, coal.
**SPOILERS** All of these presents contain porn.
Oh my, I seem to be rather intoxicated. I don’t recall this hallway being so long—or quite so blurry. My journey back from that delightful fraternity gathering was a trying one, indeed! Ah well, here we are at my dormitory. Room 204. Splendid. Now if I could just fit the key into the lock…hm, how peculiar my fine motor skills seem to be failing me at this moment in time. I suppose that 9th Jolly Rancher shot was not one of my brightest ideas! Ha! Ha! Wait…I think I hear my lovely roommate coming to my assistance. I should probably immediately notify her of my current state of intoxication!