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Mental Health at NU

4 Dec

This wasn’t supposed to be a “reaction article.”

This was supposed to be encouragement to those suffering to get help, an attempt at reviewing resources, a guide for friends of sufferers and a plea to take care of each other. It’s been drafted and re-edited by countless sources for months now. It wasn’t supposed to be immediately relevant.

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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: A&O Blowout

9 Oct

This Friday, A&O (which stands for something, but literally no one knows what) is hosting a concert featuring a black musical act preceded by a white musical act that guy from Community, and some band that you don’t listen to, but that one girl from your dorm who ironically wears the same glasses as your grandpa listens to.  It’s at some time, probably at night.[1]  There will also be Morty Schapiro a special guest.  They actually do this concert every fall, they host it at our basketball arena (Welsh-Ryan), and they call it A&O Blowout.

The site of what will certainly be the greatest experience of the latter half of one of your Fridays.

The site of what will certainly be the greatest experience of the latter half of one of your Fridays.

Now, you’re a freshman, and the only concert experience you’ve ever had is that one time you went with your mom to see John Mayer and had to uncomfortably listen to her sing along with “Your Body is a Wonderland”.  You’re in college now, and after almost four weeks on campus you think you’ve pretty much got everything down pat.  So since there’s this concert being held very close to campus that’s like super cheap, you’re probably thinking, “fuck yeah, let’s go!”  And you should go.  Attending Blowout is a freshman rite-of-passage; you go your first year here, realize it’s kinda meh, and then never go again.[2]  That being said, it definitely doesn’t have to be meh; you can have a great time, as long as you know what to do and what to expect.  So let Sherman Ave fill you in with the deets.  You trust us, right?

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5 Tips for Suburban Kids Pretending to be from Chicago

16 Sep

As someone who was born and raised in Chicago (what up?!), it boils my blood that kids from the near suburbs claim that they are “from Chicago.” Just own up to the fact you are from Berwyn or Joliet or wherever, so I don’t have to rot your soul with my dirty looks. However, in the spirit of camaraderie I apparently have to feel toward other freshmen, I must look past these things, so I want to give you kids from the near suburbs (Sorry, Bourbonnais, you’re too far to make the cut) some tips on pretending to be from Chicago proper.

Learn to hate the people who love this

Learn to hate the people who love this

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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Date Night

11 Sep

datenight1This is for those of you who will be brave enough to hurdle the biggest barrier to getting a date at Northwestern: actually just fucking asking someone out already. The journey from being the person who judges the couple holding hands while waiting in line for sushi to being the person who has a boyfriend or girlfriend to help you make fun of the couple holding hands while waiting in line for sushi can be long, strenuous, and very occasionally sexually satisfactory. The following guide will help immerse yourself in Northwestern’s insulated stultifying vibrant dating scene. Or at least help snag you a warm body to fasten yourself to during winter quarter.

The First Date

Kafein: Good place for hipsters to grab a caramel turtle mocha and split a warmed up cookie. If conversation lulls, you can always heckle the townies doing stand up on Monday nights.

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5 Things Sun Tzu Can Teach You About Freshman Year

6 Sep

1. Deception and Supplies

“All warfare is based on deception.” – Sun Tzu, Ancient Chinese General, 502 BC

Hey, quick – do you want to know how much a gallon of milk costs? About $5 dollars. And I’m sorry I told you that, because it’s something you shouldn’t have had to learn yet. The truth is this:  Continue reading

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Living In Allison Hall

5 Sep

Oh, you just found out you were assigned to Allison Hall for your freshman year? Wellll then, CONGRATULATIONS YOU JUST WON. EVERYTHING.

For starters, this place is a hotel. Seriously. Some witty, clever students have even taken to calling it… Continue reading

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Your Dorm Room

5 Sep

This is probably how you want your dorm room to look.

This is probably not how your dorm room is going to look. Continue reading

Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Medill

4 Sep
McTrib, where only 14% of journalism students shrivel up and die annually.

McTrib, where only 14% of journalism students shrivel up and die annually.

“Hi, I’m a journalism student at Northwestern and I’m working on a story about ______.” Memorize those words. They will constitute the beginnings of probably like 80% of your class-related conversations for the next four years. Or something. I’m not sure, I didn’t like fact-check that claim or anything. In fact, this might be a good time to discuss Medill F’s and factual errors… nah, we’ll hold off on that. First, Continue reading

From Wildkittens to Wildcougars: A GIF Journey from Freshman to Senior Year at Northwestern

2 Sep

Dear Class of 2017,

Three short years ago the class of 2014 shuffled at the pace of a dehydrated desert tortoise because everyone’s parents felt the need to take photos every five steps marched through the arch and commenced the drunk, sweaty adventure that was Wildcat Welcome 2010. In a few weeks, we’re really looking forward to sitting on our front porches, drinking beer that isn’t Busch Light, and watching you wander aimlessly as you try to find that awesome party near the corner of Maple and Simpson.

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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Managing Your Email

29 Aug

Remember when you set up your first email address?  You spent three weeks thinking of the perfect name, and another three weeks mourning when you discovered that batman@hotmail.com had already been taken by some douche who probably doesn’t even know who Professor Hugo Strange is.  You finally settled upon a name and password, cleverly lied to Hotmail and said you were 13 years old*, and next thing you knew, you had your very own email address. Hardly able to contain your excitement, you logged in immediately and Continue reading