The Best Places To Take A Shit On Campus

“Everybody poops, you are not alone”- Radiohead

Up until going abroad a few months ago (in a place with not-so-great toilets, as it were), I had a really hard time dropping a deuce anywhere but home. It wasn’t that I couldn’t; in a high stress, emergency scenario, I was perfectly capable of using a public toilet. But it was never a comfortable experience, and despite my recent maturation, pooping in a public place is still something of a trying experience for me.

It may well be that I am alone in struggling to drop trou in public restrooms. I have a hard time believing that I am #foreveralone, but even if we say for the sake of argument that I am, I’m still sure that everyone, I mean virtually EVERY man, woman, child, and other, prefers to poop in comfortable circumstances. It’s why dogs prefer the grass to the sidewalk, why cats prefer anywhere but the litter box to the litter box (wait no that’s because cats are total dicks nevermind).

Sherman Ave Turns 2!!!

Here’s to another year of not paying for copyrighted images!

Some of you may know us as the blog that got you prepared for college. Others may know us as the blog you accidentally stumbled across while looking for topless Jennifer Lawrence. But no matter what you’ve needed, from political commentary to Morty Schapiro singing Taylor Swift, we’ve been there for you.

For two years now to the day, Sherman Ave has been working tirelessly to bring you the very best in heinous. And we couldn’t have done it without you, our loyal, ethically comprised, alcoholic readers.

Miley Cyrus Mad Libs

Miley Cyrus has declared the act of intercourse to be “a beautiful and magical thing.

Horny in the U.S.A.

…just in CASE you were wondering whether she was still striking terror in the hearts of parents of horny tweens across the country. Or if you were wondering whether sex is indeed a beautiful thing.

Anyways, let us collectively wish an unplanned pregnancy upon this classless strumpet (it seems like the only thing that might actually remove her from Hollywood) with a set of Mad Libs. Simply answer the questions below and fill in the blank spaces as commanded – no cheating!

1. toy
2. your “type” (e.g., athletes, pre-meds, gingers)
3. your favorite sexual position
4. how do you feel after 2 weeks without any sexual activity?
5. how do you like your breakfast in the morning? (adjective)
6. your porn star alias
7. on top or on bottom?
8. #1 person you’d bang if you could
9. verb
10. location
11. interjection
12. the title of your favorite porn movie
13. interjection
14. method of communication
15. depraved sex act (urbandictionary style)
16. noun
17. unclean adjective
18. toy
19. genitalia
20. #2 person you’d bang if you could
21. verb
22. location

Send yours to me at eleanorkinkervoss@u.northwestern.edu, and if your Mad Lib turned out as attention-seeking and degenerate as Ms. Cyrus herself, we just might publish it.

Pole dancing at the Keg can get pretty rough.

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

Oh yeah
Come on

You get the [1] out front, ooh-a-ooh
Hot [2], every [3], every color
Yeah when you’re [4] it can be kinda fun
it’s really [5] but no one ever discovers

In some ways you’re just like all your friends
But on stage you’re [6]

You get [7] of [8]
Chillin’ out, take it slow
Then you [9] out the [10]
You get [7] of [8] and you
Mix it all together and you know that
it’s [7] of [8],
The [7] of [8], ([11])

You go the [12] premiers
Hear your [13] on the [14]
[15]ing two [16] is a little weird
But school’s cool cuz nobody knows

Yeah you get to be a [17] girl
But big time when you play your [18]

You get the [19] of [20]
Chillin’ out take it slow
Then you [21] out the [22]

You get the [19] of [20] and you
Mix it all together and you know that
it’s the [19]
You get the [19] of [20].