Tag Archives: Aaron and Henry

5 Planks That Didn’t Make It In Aaron and Henry’s Platform

16 Apr

As many of you know, Aaron and Henry’s campaign chose to build their platform by accepting submissions from the student body.  Sadly, Sherman Ave has neither the initiative nor the fuck-giving to actually make submissions to this platform.  So instead, we’re providing you with a list of what we assume were the five best platform issues that Aaron and Henry didn’t integrate into their campaign.

Orrrrr.... stress relief Pitbull!

Orrrrr…. stress relief Pitbull!

1.  Stress relief pit bulls

Okay, so we all remember how that whole “stress relief puppy” thing happened last quarter, and everyone was flipping dicks because ERMAHGERD PERPERSSSS (clarification: that translates to “Oh my god, puppies!” and not “Oh my god, porpoise!”)  But what about pit bulls?  They’re really cute and adorable, but they have the added benefit of maybe attacking you and making you ineligible to take your finals.  Why use the “dog ate my homework” excuse when you can use the “pit bull devoured my clavicle” one? Continue reading