A Heinous[1] Proposal: Last-Minute Pitch for Punny Fall TV Shows

Now is the time of year when executives at the major national broadcasting networks begin to decide which TV shows they’re going to give pilots to in the fall lineup, and in four short weeks they will announce to America what lies in store this coming September. While there are some clear front runners, it’s still too early to tell which pilots are flops waiting to happen and which will be the next Grimm: the police procedural/fantasy hybrid based in the world of Grimms’ Fairy Tales that is still keeping viewers spellbound three seasons in. Fridays, 9/8c[2].

This dude is just enthralled with Grimm’s whatever whatever. (via digitaltrends.com)

There are also some concepts floating around out there that are amazingly ridiculous[3], but the proposed concepts are missing one thing. There is a severe lack of series titles built around fantastically groan-inducing puns[4]. That’s why I’ve prepared this list of pun-based TV pilots that I’m trusting one of you RTVF readers to get into the right hands.

ABC: A drama-comedy about

A Comprehensive Timeline of DM Emotions

Oh my god yes! ANOTHER HARLEM SHAKE DANCE!!!

A couple things that I had working against me going into DM: I slept like 4 hours a night the week before, and I had 5 cups of coffee the day of (yes I KNOW that you weren’t supposed to do that). I’m also so caffeine dependent that I might as well just take it intravenously at this point. So, like, dsklgjsiojklcxmv nerjeoijwsak. I am one tired motherfucker.

Block 1: I look around the tent. 30 hours in this bad boy. The feeling of “what the fuck have I gotten myself into god I really hate myself sometimes” comes on with the ferocity of an orgo midterm. The music starts. I bob my head with tepid enthusiasm. I should probably conserve energy. After all, it’s 30 fucking hours. I dance awkwardly. I realize that I’m not used to dancing in situations other than The Keg. I hate myself. It’s been 30 minutes. I have completely exhausted all of my dance moves. Ooh snack time! “All dancers with nut allergies please exit the tent.” Awkward, that’s me. They start playing music that people can get into (MY LIFE. WOULD SUCK. WITHOUUUUUT YOUUUUU) and this DM thing is kind of fun.