Tag Archives: Calvin Harris

Should You Hook Up With Him? A Flowchart Journey

4 Mar

So you’re out at a party or a bar or hovering by the bar at a party, and suddenly a Calvin Harris song comes on and you feel some guy’s pelvis approach your ass and realize that you are being “danced” upon. Then comes there part where you must make a decision.

-Should I casually take a few steps forward like I didn’t notice the sudden proximity of his dick to my ass crack?

-Should I let him make out with me and get a free drink out of it? Maybe I’ll feel less guilty if I give him an OTPHJ. I can just say I was black out and don’t remember that.

-Should I take him home with me? I haven’t cleaned my room in a while, but maybe he’s too drunk to notice. My roommates might judge me though. Maybe we should go back to his place. Oh wait doesn’t he live with Continue reading