Cheer Bear of the “Care Bears” On The Loose After Vicious Rampage At Gay Pride Parade Over Rainbow Insignia

Killing machine.

CHICAGO – Sunday’s Gay Pride Parade took a colorfully deadly turn as Cheer Bear was on the rampage following a freakout over her famous Rainbow insignia. The incident took place immediately after the Puerto Rican Jewish Baptists Transgender float passed Belmont and Halsted in one of the peaks of the parade.

“Suddenly there was this pink blur in the middle of the street,” said Pride performer Julius McQueensta The Precious III, “And then we all saw this bear ripping down the floats and all of the rainbow flags. I thought it was part of the act until I noticed she was too fierce to not have any body glitter on her.”