The Official Sherman Ave Yelp

With a Yelp review, a back story reigns supreme over the actual quality of a venue.  Yelpers let the world know who they are, where they’ve been and where they’re going, much like a rapper’s first album.  Writers Cobra Lederham and Ross Packingham entered the crowded Evanston Yelp review market to

Bartistics: Quantifying the Best Northwestern Bars

The next Keg?

Sherman Ave editor Evander Jones teamed up with food blog What I’m Eating for Lunch’s curator Jameson Bulwinkle to provide a comprehensive statistical analysis—or bartistical analysis, if you will—of the Evanston and Chicago bars most frequently frequented by Northwestern undergraduates. But first, an explanation of the bartistical categories analyzed by Evander and Jameson:

Yelp Rating: How many Yelp starts the bar received, out of a maximum potential of five.
Distance from the Arch: As estimated in walking distance by Google Something Maps.
Best Weekly Special: The best available special the bar offers on a day of the week.
VORN: Value Over Replacement Night. This bartistic measures how much more valuable the bar’s weekly special night is compared to a random night at the same bar given the same blood alcohol content. A VORN of 5.4, for instance, means that the bar’s weekly special night is 5.4 times better than a random non-special average night at the same bar.
Food, Ambiance, and Drinks: All subjective scores, out of a maximum of ten points, assigned by Evander and Jameson.
OoS: Odds of Scoring. What is the percentage chance of an average Northwestern student patron hooking up with another patron from the bar?
BPT: Biddies per Townie. What is the ratio of biddies to townies at the bar?
ABP: Average beer price. ABP’s with asterisks are actual average prices, not estimates.

Keg Week 2013: The Top 10 Most Heinous Yelp Reviews for The Keg of Evanston

According to the online directory yelp.com, the Keg of Evanston is great for a late night and horrible for children without anything that resembles proper identification. For Sherman Ave’s ongoing celebration of Keg Week, we found the top ten yelp reviewers heinous enough to devote ten minutes of their lives to informing the greater Chicagoland area about TKOE.

10. Keg Dinner for Two

I’ve been shut out the past two times I tried to get dinner at the Keg, and this woman who looks old enough to remember when Evanston was dry is able to enjoy a meal there that cost as much as a night at Chili’s and probably tasted like a night at Joliet Correctional Center? Fate is as fickle as a co-ed on a stripper pole.

9. Nothing but the Truth

Too bad Tal R. confused Chet Haze for a New Trier dude.

8. ASIAN GIRL

Having eaten breakfast at Plex — which must be comparable to most high-end strip club breakfast buffets — I can really identify with Isaac C. Besides, most times when I scream “ASIAN GIRL,” they either mace me or shout back “HONKY BRO.” Incidentally, how much does a cab ride cost to get from The Keg to Deering?

Boyfriend’s Upcoming Mix Tape to Reveal “Darker, Sensitive” Side

A cassette, intended for just such mixtapes, but utterly useless since Brennan was seven.

JOLIET — Matt Brennan has announced details for the release of his second mix tape for Stefanie Kirkpatrick, Brennan’s girlfriend of seven months. According to sources close to Brennan’s decision-making process, the new mix CD will feature approximately 19 songs carefully culled from Brennan’s iTunes collection to exhibit a “darker and more sensitive side” of the local analytics manager to Kirkpatrick.

The mix tape, self-produced by Brennan and complete with album art of an original collage of photographs of the couple and detailed liner notes, is tentatively titled Mix for Stefanie #2 and set for release next month. According to Brennan, the mix tape will be available for a limited time only on compact disc, or flash drive “if, you know, that would make Stefanie’s life easier.”

Evanston in Your Mouth: Your Guide To Eating Out Around the Northwestern Campus

Dine so hard

Northern Evanston, home of Northwestern University, is a hub of diversity. From its upper-middle class homes, to its upper-middle class citizens, to its upper-middle class dogs in sweater vests – it is difficult to find a place with more cultural variance. Though the Evanston community is about as stereo-typically white as Drake’s Bar Mitzvah, it is actually home to a wide variety of restaurants.  In order to help the student body with its Evanston Dining Experience, Sherman Ave has developed a comprehensive guide to Evanston dining, categorized by mouthgasm rating:

ORAL ORGO

The restaurants in this category are less than enjoyable. The food is not necessarily bad, but like taking orgo, it will leave you bored, tired, and wanting to be drunk.