5 Weird Twitter Accounts You Need To Follow Right Now

You think you know what Twitter is, don’t you? You’ve heard foggy old newscasters pontificate about how it sparks revolutions in the Middle East, and you’ve listened to IMC professors talk about using it to build your “personal brand” (like, don’t forget, DON’T EVER FORGET that retweets do not fucking equal endorsements).

Although you were initially freaked out by seeing all your friends constantly retweeting a middle-aged guy in a speedo, you’ve come to enjoy reading Rob Delaney tweet at Wolf Blitzer asking if Flowers For Algernon was a true story. You know how to use hashtags to draw attention to your tweets from people you’ll never meet, but are still self-aware enough to laugh when Schmidt says “hashtag” out loud on New Girl.

All in all, you feel confident in your grasp of Twitter, like the #millenial that you are.

Oh, child.

My poor, poor child.

Amanda Bynes: Master Troll

Troll

Do you ever think about the celebrity infatuation that exists in this county?

The generous amount of on-air time spent covering the Hollywood aristocracy would make any publicity-seeking radical weep into their manifestos. This is especially true with the celebrity meltdown, the fall from grace which has become a parody of itself. The drugs, the denials, the arrests, it has all become so cliché that you need to spice it up nowadays if you want attention (e.g. with racism, animal abuse, revanchism, etc.).

The Twatties: The Best of the Worst of Twitter in 2012

Well, 2012 is drawing to a close, which can only mean one thing: it’s year-end recap season!  If you are at all well-versed in the world of journalism (and if so why in the name of all that is holy are you reading this), you are currently being inundated with best-of and worst-of lists to summarize a year that you just lived through and remember perfectly well.  It’s all very trivial, so in keeping with that spirit, my end-of-year recap will focus on that all-consuming swamp of triviality, Twitter!

Now, there are some truly remarkable Tweeters who deserve the ultimate #FF, from Rob Delaney to Megan Amram to Ezra Klein to Ryan Kearney, but expounding on my praise of them wouldn’t be very fun or snarky, would it?  So instead, I give you the first annual Twattie Awards, honoring the most heinous, vile, or unintentionally hilarious individuals of the Twitterverse!  And the winners are: