Sherman Ave Homecoming Court Vote Guide: Katie Funderburg

In June, Sherman Ave sat down with each of the 2013 Homecoming Court nominees for wide-ranging discussions. If any cultural references seem slightly out of date, that’s because that was June and this is September and that’s how time works. Voting for Homecoming King and Queen begins soon!

KATIE FUNDERBURG LOVES THE AVE.

Twattingworth: Who would you say has been the biggest influence on your life in the last 15 minutes?

Funderburg: I guess I’d have to say my roommate– she’s the last person I saw before I came here. She said “have a good day,” so I hope I’m gonna have a good day because of that.

Twattingworth: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had two midterms and a paper tomorrow then an exec meeting until 9 and a dinner date he really can’t get out of?

Funderburg: Well, it’s really hard to even give a chuck about chucking wood when you have a lot of stuff to do. So I’m gonna guess he’s give no chucks at all.

Finals Are Communist

May the curve be ever in your favor

Finals are communist. Let me say that again. Communist. If there were any justice in this world, finals would be relegated to a life of shame and degradation in a cross between Guantanamo and that one nightmare I had where beetles developed opposable thumbs and managed to invent garbage-based weaponry. Also, I think Ron Paul was there for some reason.

But I digress. Why are finals communist you ask, ignorant bourgeois fool that you are? Let’s break it down.