The Best Places To Take A Shit On Campus

“Everybody poops, you are not alone”- Radiohead

Up until going abroad a few months ago (in a place with not-so-great toilets, as it were), I had a really hard time dropping a deuce anywhere but home. It wasn’t that I couldn’t; in a high stress, emergency scenario, I was perfectly capable of using a public toilet. But it was never a comfortable experience, and despite my recent maturation, pooping in a public place is still something of a trying experience for me.

It may well be that I am alone in struggling to drop trou in public restrooms. I have a hard time believing that I am #foreveralone, but even if we say for the sake of argument that I am, I’m still sure that everyone, I mean virtually EVERY man, woman, child, and other, prefers to poop in comfortable circumstances. It’s why dogs prefer the grass to the sidewalk, why cats prefer anywhere but the litter box to the litter box (wait no that’s because cats are total dicks nevermind).

Children’s Books for Future Northwestern Students

Now a major motion picture, starring Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen!

Looking for a great gift for your newborn baby cousin? Initiate him into NU culture nice and early with some classic children’s books, made just for the appreciation of Wildcats-to-be. All books are also available in audio-book form, narrated by Gary Saul Morson and Chet Haze, and can be found wherever books are sold on campus at an egregiously high mark-up.

Can you tell me how to get to L103?

A small and loveable freshman engineer decides to “walk through” her class locations like she did in high school, without consulting a map before venturing into the depths of Tech. By the time she asks for directions, she’s in Crowe pleading with philosophy professors who don’t know where they are either.