Tag Archives: Dan Vitale

#GetFuckedSyracuse

7 Sep

NCAA Football: Northwestern at Syracuse

Dear Syracuse,

Back so soon? Funny, I could have sworn it was just last year that Fitz and the Wildcats came into the Carrier Dome and fucked you silly. I guess there must have been something magical about that hot and sweaty Prose Bowl, because here you are in Evanston, back for more of Northwestern’s 19th-ranked carnal manhood.

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#GetFuckedIllini

23 Nov

Fitz, representing the sexual domination to come.

Dear Illini,
Get Fucked.

Tomorrow is a momentous day for the State of Illinois. No, to our knowledge Oprah won’t be returning her show to Chicago. And no, Rockford will not be ceded to Wisconsin. This Saturday marks something far more special: Northwestern’s physical and mental obliteration of the Illinois Fighting Illini for the vaunted Land of Lincoln Trophy.

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