The Twelve Worst Things People Say to Northwestern Students

1. “What’s it like going to school in Boston?”
It’s Northwestern, not that other school in Boston. You know, “Chicago’s Big Ten Team?”

2. “How many times have you been to the NCAA tournament?”
Who’s really counting these days (#me #shame #depression)? Anyway, Chris Collins is going to take us to the Promised Land within the next two years, and there’s like a million other sports in which we’re bomb-ass.

3. “Son, your mother and I are getting a divorce.”
Seriously? Have you seen our ACT scores?

Top 5 Reasons Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel Got Divorced

This month marks the four-year wedding anniversary of Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel. Ben is best known as the sad-sack lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service, while Zooey is an actress as well as the songstress for the band She & Him. Unfortunately, everyone’s favorite pick for “Cutest Indie Couple” have been separated almost as long as they were married, and their divorce was finalized in December.

When the pair first became an item, I combined their names to create the celebrity power couple name “Zen,” thinking it captured the harmonious nature of their relationship. Knowing how things turned out, “Booey” (pronounced like the British glam-rocker’s surname) might have been a better choice.