OH, WE’RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOH-OOOOH, LIVIN ON A MEDISCARE. Get it? Like Medicare, but scary cause Paul Ryan wants to kill all old people! Hahahaha!
But seriously, congratulations on making it halfway through the conventions. That’s quite a feat, but we still have the Democratic Convention to get through. And, thanks to Obamacare, you are now required to drink any time you watch anything. Look it up, it’s in there.
Will the posters say “Probably above average” this time?
Tags: above average, Barack Obama, Biden, Bush-era, Charlotte, Democrats, DNC, DNC 2012, DNC drinking game, drinking, drinking game, Elizabeth Warren, Eva Longoria, Free Birth Control, Obama
For those of you out there in blogosphere who aren’t familiar with the up-and-coming trend of “pregaming,” it is a term that refers to the act of consuming alcohol before any event; it could be a football game, a musical, or even a 250-student lecture. Unfortunately, this trend of pregaming has only become a common cultural activity in recent years. We must wonder: How would history have been changed if previous generations were clinical alcoholics like ours is? Here are the top ten historical events that would have been infinitely better had all parties involved drained several shots of Jose Cuervo beforehand.
Tags: 1/64, 11th amendment, 12th amendment, 1775, 1787, 2000 Florida election recount, Aaron Burr, adventure, Alabama, alcohol, ale, Alexander Hamilton, America, and Future, anguish, Annapolis, antebellum era, AP US history, Arkansas, Articles of Confederation, biology teacher, black-out drunk, Bleeding Kansas, blogosphere, body shot, Brooks-Sumner Affair, Burger King, Burr-Hamilton Duel, campaign finance reforrm, cane, caning, Capitol, Charles Sumner, Cherokee, cherry tree fetish, cholera, Churchill, clinical alcoholics, Clint Eastwood, condoms, Congress, Constitutional Convention, Continental Army, convention, court hearing, CREEP, descended from primates, DNC, double shots, doucheloaf, drunken stumbling, Duke of Cunterbury, economic transformation, Evander Jones, Every American Political Convention that happened between 1775 and 1787, expansion, facial hair, First Continental Congress, flaming pile of shit, flip cup, Florida Secretary of State, football, Frances Willard, fresh, fucking heinous, gastro-intestinal nadir, George Bush, George Washington, Give me natty light or give me death, Gold rush, hammered, Harry Reid, Henry Clay, hookup, ill-fated, Independence Hall, Indian Casino, inebriated, innuendo, Jesse Bright, John Hancock, John Scopes, Jose Cuervo, judicial jungle-juicing, Katherine Harris, kegger, Keitt, King George III, Liberty Bell, masculinity, Massachusetts, masturbating, McGovern suxxx, Mississippi, moonshine, music, Nathaniel Banks, natives, never back down, New York, nicknames, Nixon, obliterated, Oklahoma, Olive Branch Petition, Oregon Trail, Patrick Henry, PCP, Peter Stein, politics, Potomac, pregaming, Present, Preston Brooks, procedural rules, prospecting, prospecting gold with a pistol and a spoon, public nudity, public urination, Republican caucus, Revolutionary War, road trip, robber barons, Roosevelt, Rum and Coke, Scandinavia, scholarship, Secretary of Treasury, Senate, Senate floor debates, shitshow, sipping brewskis, slavery, slizzard, sloshed, South Carolina, Stalin, Supreme Court, Supreme Emperor of all Tools Past, switchblades, tanked triumverate, tavern, Tennessee, Texas, The Gilded Age, The Scopes Trial, Thomas Jefferson, tomahawk, Trail of Beers, Trail of Tears, trauma, urinating on a herd of buffalo, Valley Forge, Vice President, vintage porn, vodka, Watergate Scandal, wheelbarrow race, William Howard, William Sebastian, Women's Christian Temperance Union, women's hockey, wooden teeth, Yalta Conference, Yorktown
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