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Tag Archives: Evander Jones

Sherman Ave Writers Win Award for “Most Loyal Sherman Ave Readers”

1 Mar

EVANSTON, IL—The writers of Sherman Ave announced this afternoon that they were thrilled to award the “Most Loyal Readers Award” to the writers of Sherman Ave.

As the esteemed publication nears its two millionth view, its writers believed it was time to finally acknowledge the community that has helped it grow to become the social icon it is today.  But, since they do not have time to thank each and every viewer, they believed it would send the same message if they simply spoiled their most loyal readers.  As it turns out, Continue reading

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Letter to the editor, from the editors

4 Feb

Please reference Vitamin C for additional ambiance:

Sometimes you start a blog your freshman year just for the hell of it. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, that blog grows in to one of the most important facets of your life, picking up over 50 additional writers along the way and garnering thousands of readers who, for some godforsaken reason, seem to enjoy our heinous publication.

Three years ago, I started Sherman Ave with the idea of making a site devoted to the culture of Evanston and Chicago. Peter Stein and Sir Edward Twattingworth III came along not much later, and took things to a whole new level. The next year brought a new generation of Aviators, including Chandler Dutton, who immediately became one of the site’s most important writers, editors, and leaders.

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Point/Counterpoint: Will Northwestern make the Rose Bowl?

7 Dec
(via chicagosidesports.com)

(via chicagosidesports.com)

POINT

by Evander Jones

As much as it pains me to say it, I don’t think that the good old Cardiac ‘Cats have a Nebraskan hail mary’s chance of making The Grandaddady of Them All. Unfortunately, there are more impediments blocking Northwestern from making the Rose Bowl than there are ways for NU to lose a game, but these three sticking points immediately jump out to me as reasons Northwestern doesn’t have a chance to make this New Year’s Tournament of Roses:

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Sherman Ave Goes One Full Month Without Mayor Tisdahl-Themed Column

5 Nov

EVANSTON, Ill. – As of noon local time today, local college-based humor site and Northwestern cultural touchstone Sherman Ave has not published an article about Elizabeth Tisdahl on its page for one entire month – the longest amount of time ever between Tisdahl-themed articles.

The website, founded by Evander Jones in 2010 that has amassed nearly Continue reading

Sherman Ave Interviews: Morty Schapiro

6 Jun

The Sherman Ave Editors (Evander Jones, Ross Packingham and Sir Edward Twattingworth III) sat down with Northwestern University President Morty Schapiro for an interview.  Why he agreed to let us do this, we may never know, but we sure are happy he did.

"I'm allergic to cats."

“I’m allergic to cats.”

Packingham: If you could make a drink called “The Morty,” what would it entail?

Morty: Oh man. Like an alcoholic drink?

Twattingworth: Wow, interesting that your mind went there.

Morty: Yeah… Well, you know when I drink, like last night–this is really exciting–but one-third orange juice, two-thirds Perrier.

Packingham: Perrier? Is that vodka? Or rum?

Morty: And they have to give me this much wine so I can hold it to pretend I’ll drink it, but I’m not a wine drinker. I like beer when I have Asian food. I like Thai beer, or Japanese beer or something.

Packingham: Like a Budweiser?

Morty: I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those. So I’m not big on like American Continue reading

Sherman Ave Histories: Harris Hall

29 May

Sherman Ave Histories continue with this gripping tale of the history of Harris Hall. Because those who don’t heinous history are doomed to repeat it.

Ironically enough, Harris Hall hosts real history lessons on campus.

Ironically enough, Harris Hall hosts real history lessons on campus.

Written by Cobra Lederham and Evander Jones

Created by Cobra Lederham, Evander Jones, and Ross Packingham

Sherman Ave Interviews: Reggie Hearn

27 May
This guy.

This guy.

Sherman Ave editors Evander Jones, Ross Packingham, and Sir Edward Twattingworth III sat down with senior Northwestern guard Reggie Hearn, who was kind enough to talk  to us about all things basketball, NU, and heinous.

Evander: So how’s spring quarter going?

Reggie: It’s going a little too tough for my senior spring quarter than I’d like. But it’s practically over now. Dillo Day’s in six days. Everything’s in a rush, I’m not really worried about anything.

Sir T-worth: Speaking of Dillo Day, we have some Dillo related questions for you. Do you have any personal Dillo traditions? In other words, what shots do you take and when do you take them?

Reggie: Well, you guys might be surprised to know that my freshman year Dillo Day was the first time I drank ever. So I started off, my first shot ever was just a regular Smirnoff at 8 in the morning. I don’t know if I have any Dillo traditions, but one we started last year is me and my roommate Austin, we just rent a tandem bike at Norris, and that’s our transportation. I thought that we would have a little bit more trouble riding it than we did, but it was fine.

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The Top 20 Ways to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day at the Library

17 Mar
Follow this list until the Catholic guilt is too much to handle.

Follow this list until the Catholic guilt is too much to handle.

1. Read an article about religious sectarian violence on JSTOR
Curse like an Irishman every time Northwestern logs you out.

2. Do an Econometrics problem set
Congratulations! You’re receiving the education that eluded the 1/8th of your ancestors who endured brutal ethnocentrism in the streets of America!

3. Work on your 25-page paper you should have started in mid-February for your research seminar, “Gender and Sexuality during the Irish Potato Famine”
It’s only a matter of time until “Irish Studies” becomes an official major.

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Furor Scribendi: Zombies, Canadians, Rihanna, and Chet Haze (or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Pretend to be Malcolm Gladwell)

7 Jul

Brother Jürgen Taintsdorf and Evander Jones trade e-mails regarding celebrity, sport, and all things culture.

Evander Jones:
Dear Brother Jürgen,

Took him long enough.

What follows is a pitiful attempt to be either the Bill Simmons to your Malcolm Gladwell or the other way around. If need be, however, I am willing to settle as the Ke$ha to your Flo Rida. Either way I’ll probably come off as a DoucheMcMuffin, even if I edit our email exchanges to make us both look far more witty than our faithful Sherman Ave readers could ever imagine. A tricky task, mind you, as I just kind of assume that all of our readers are beautiful women between the ages of 18 and 27 who harbor a fond appreciation for unreleased Smiths B-sides, The West Wing, and Morty Schapiro to go with their rabid readership of Sherman Ave.

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Why We Still Haven’t Finished May Heinous

6 Jul

Douching it up since the Julio-Claudian Dynasty

First Log-6:37 pm
Have been chosen to cover this May Heinous thing that Evander came up with. Am somewhat looking forward to it, though worry there won’t be enough alcohol. As such, have hidden six flasks in or around body. Bartender informed me they contain enough alcohol to kill six bull elephants. Still worry it won’t be enough.

Second Log-7:42 pm
Am en route to event location. For some reason it is being held at Nero’s place. Raised question about fire safety issues, but Evander told me to shut up and “grow some dragon scales.” Believe I heard him correctly. Currently considering going home and eating ice cream, possibly calling a hospital to ask about nearby mental health facilities for Evander.

Third Log-7:51 pm
Arrived at Nero’s. Place smells as bad as Attila the Hun’s taint, which was unceremoniously shown to me upon my arrival. Hate the world and everyone in it more than usual tonight. First flask is already empty.

Fourth Log-8:04 pm
Competition has started. Hemingway and Roosevelt are so cool. Churchill also awesome beyond belief. All three continue to make Helen Keller jokes, but she can’t hear so it is a non-issue in terms of offending her. Catherine the Great attempted to feel me up. Rebuffed her, leaving her in the arms of Slobodan Milosevic. Would hate to see their children. Am currently questioning personal stance vis-à-vis mercy killings.

Fifth Log-8:09 pm
Shakespeare and Sartre continue to try interesting me in their discussion on the relative merits of literature. Am not nearly drunk enough to contribute. Took shots with Bismarck who, unsurprisingly, can really hold his alchohol. Think I may have misspelled alcohol, but am getting drunk and don’t really care. Andy Warhol is creepy.

Sixth Log-8:18 pm
Can taste shapes. Think I may have been slipped something. Everyone is a suspect.

Seventh Log-8:07 am
Triangle tastes suspiciously similar to eggplant parmesan and Charles De Gaulle sounds like strawberries. Could get used to this, maybe start a show on Food Network. General Patton eliminated as suspect, as he also found elliptical machine.

8#-Log-!4:19* xv
oh god oh god oh fod aooe. Mclellan is not fun and mandela oh go ei. Heio Nab comi spcial pejaps main fond if ingellsce.

Final Log-11:23 am
Memories of last night fuzzy at best. All competitors reportedly having undergone same terrible experience. Finding the culprit will not be an easy task. Evander has cancelled the rest of the event to aid the investigation.