1. Pop bubble wrap. Alternately, place bubble wrap under a rug in an area with heavy foot traffic and watch.
2. Purchase a stick of your ex’s deodorant of choice. Apply. Sniff your own armpits and pretend you’re not forever alone.
1. Pop bubble wrap. Alternately, place bubble wrap under a rug in an area with heavy foot traffic and watch.
2. Purchase a stick of your ex’s deodorant of choice. Apply. Sniff your own armpits and pretend you’re not forever alone.
Tags: Annie, Beyonce, bubble wrap, cat, deodorant, dog, Ex, fap, forever alone, gif, google, happy list, heinous, masturbate, message from the past, musical, old spice guy, peanut butter, peanut butter jelly time, pee, printer, rug, underwear, warm paper
So you survived Dillo. Congrats.
But you should check the call log on your phone once you dig it out of the lakefill mud. You blackout-called a ton of people:
1. Your mom
She was out gardening on such a nice Saturday when she got a call from her least favorite child:
“Hi honey, how is your day?”
“It’s not just a day, mom. It’s fucking DILLO DAY”
“Did you say it’s Dildo Day?”
“No mom it’s Dillo, don’t you hear Danny Brown playing?”
Your mom listened, horrified at the screeching coming through her receiver, but thankfully your bad service made Danny Brown sound somewhat tolerable.
Tags: ass-pooper, asshole, blackout, crying, Danny Brown, Dillo, Dillo Day, Doctor Johnson, drunk, drunk dialing, drunk texting, Evanston, Ex, Fuck You, Kresge, love, mature, medical marijuana, mom, New York, Northwestern, NYU, pediatrician, Sex, Smashmouth, snapchats, Spotify, Thai Sookdee, Walk the Moon, weed, yuppie
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