On Groundhog Day

Pictured: The object of Bill Murray’s most carnal desires.

For years, modern society has been in an indisputable state of progress.  We’ve gone to the Moon, we’ve connected the world at the click of a button, and we’ve allowed Rob Thomas to launch a moderately successful solo career in spite of his former affiliation with Matchbox 20.  Looking back at past societies, there are literally hundreds of tangible ways in which we can distinguish ourselves as more advanced.

And yet, one thing stands between us and true modernity.  That one thing is a goddamn groundhog named Punxsutawney Phil.