Hodor from Game of Thrones delivers famous movie quotes (pt.II)

If only Hodor was in every movie.

Famous Movie Quotes Spoken by Hodor from Game of Thrones

If you haven’t seen Game of Thrones or read A Song of Ice and Fire books THEN YOU FUCKING SHOULD BECAUSE GEORGE R. R. MARTIN WENT TO NORTHWESTERN FOR 5 YEARS, HE WAS A MEDILLDO AND HE TRAVERSED THE HALLS OF TECH AND HE WALKED TO CLASS IN SHITTY WEATHER AND HE WAS SO INSPIRED THAT HE WROTE A FUCKING BOOK ABOUT COLD AND DOOM AND MISERY.

There’s also a lot of sex in Game of Thrones.

But we all know none of that came from Northwestern.

In Game of Thrones, there’s a character named Hodor who never says anything except “Hodor.” He’s also the most devilishly handsome character on the TV show, and a regular fan-favorite. Part of Hodor’s charm is that he uses the phrase “Hodor” in place of any actual words. To demonstrate, Sherman Ave has translated some of the best movie quotes of all time into Hodor-ese.

So hodor to your hodor! Hodor hodor and remember, hodor. 

 

2012 Sherman Ave Readers’ Poll: Results

If there’s one thing Sherman Ave prides itself on, it’s follow through. That, and our stunning mastery of the entire AP U.S. History Flashcard set. So, in the hopes of amping you up to take the 2013 Sherman Ave Readers’ Poll, here are the results of last year’s 2012 Sherman Ave Readers’ Poll. Enjoy the blast from the heinous past.

Most Heinous Event of 2012

With 18% of the vote, the winner was: Evanston revoking the Keg’s liquor license. The Keg may not have survived the wrath of Tizzy, but it did manage to eke out a one-vote victory over the advent of #YOLO, followed closely by the I Agree With Markwell campaign and the notorious Vandy seal clubbing scandal. Rest in peace, old friend. We swear to hold you forever in our memory by linking to this every goddamn opportunity we get.

2013: Net Gain or Net Loss? A Quantitative Review

These days, everything seems to have some sort of measurement system. We have heights and weights, salaries and rankings, Klout scores, GPAs, BACs — it seems like everything must be put into numeric terms. Accordingly, we’ve put together a comprehensive review of 2013, scored with our proprietary scoring system. Every significant event of 2013 will be judged on a scale of -5 to +5. A score of -5 means the event made the world a much worse place, and a score of +5 means the event made the world a much better place. Let’s take a look back at 2013 and see where our world lies after the year’s events.

5 Spectacularly Awful Sci–Fi/ Fantasy Character Names

Science fiction and fantasy are interesting genres in that they encourage narratives free from association with real–world logic, philosophy, or science. Pretty much anything goes in the land of lightsabers and lazerbeams, and that type of liberal mentality can encourage the worst creative tendencies in otherwise talented writers, especially when it comes to something as simple––and seemingly trivial––as naming characters.

I, along with many others, went to go see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire over Thanksgiving break, and while I enjoyed the movie, I found myself spit–taking my liquid popcorn butter frequently as straight–faced actors called each other things like “Effie Trinket” or “President Coriolanus (Ha! Anus!) Snow.”

Sherman Ave Interviews: Renee Engeln-Maddox (Part 1 of 2)

Earlier this summer, Sherman Ave editors Ross Packingham and Sir Edward Twattingworth III interviewed Psychology professor and Allison Hall live-in Renee Engeln-Maddox at Sherman Ave Headquarters.  If any cultural references seem slightly out of date, it’s because that’s what happens when we decide to wait to publish interviews for three months due to reasons.

Renee, shortly after realizing what a terrible, terrible mistake it was to agree to an interview with us.

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Packingham: We noticed you didn’t bring your dog to his interview… Is he gonna make it, or…?

Renee: He’s visiting Grandma right now, actually.

Twattingworth: Well, all of our questions were for him, soooo…

Renee: Oh, do you want me to leave? He doesn’t really know many words, though. Plus he would get dog hair all over your apartment.

Packingham: Probably not the worst thing this apartment has been through.

Twattingworth: This is actually the cleanest it’s looked in weeks.

Renee: This is… Um. You cleaned?

Twattingworth: A lot.

Renee [pointing to where we stashed the beer pong cups]: Meaning you stashed the beer pong cups in a row?

Twattingworth: Well that cup used to be over here.

Packingham: Do you watch Game of Thrones?

Renee: Mhm, I unfortunately got really excited about the new season and I yelled to my Psychopathology class,

Your Comprehensive and Completely Unbiased Guide to the Emmys

It’s like the Oscars, but with slightly less Billy Crystal.

If you’re anything like me, or any other person in a first world country, then you spend 90% of your preallocated social time binge-watching TV. Whether it’s through your roommate’s Netflix account that you’ve secretly been using for months (sorry Charleston Nippleberry), or maybe you’re one of those high rollers who can afford to pay for Comcast AND booze, you will make sure to get your daily fix.

The Emmys are like high school senior superlatives; everyone pretends they don’t matter, but they’re thrilled to tears when they get one (#MostLikelyToBeOnCopsClassOf2010). You could plop yourself down on the couch and watch the Emmys live, but let’s be real: ain’t nobody got time for that. Sunday nights are reserved for clearing the empty PBR cans from your apartment and trying to find creative ways to cover your new hickey before work the next day. So don’t bother DVRing it, you can find the condensed version of the probable outcomes below.

Review of Game of Thrones, Season 3, Episode 9, AKA the worst thing that ever happened to me

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS ARTICLE.  

That being said, there will also be spoilers in the episode.  Not only spoilers of plotlines, but also spoilers of any remnant of joy you might have been able to salvage since Game of Thrones last took it from you by giving you an unobstructed view of Hodor’s dick.

Before we get into the disturbing horrors of My Big Fat Red Wedding, in which Windex would solve none of the problems at hand (unless you’re the poor bastard charged with cleaning all of the INNOCENT BLOOD FROM THE FLOOR), let’s talk about the other important characters in this episode.

A Review of Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 3 “The Walk of Punishment” (by Guest Author Timmy Jenkinson, 6th Grade)

(Note: As part of our new student writer heinous-reach program, Sherman Ave has decided to partner with Evanston Township Middle Schools to give you content created by younger minds, and thus foster a healthy and positive interest in writing. Education is a vital part of a child’s life, and we at Sherman Ave understand that and yadda yadda yadda Michelle Obama.  If you know a talented student who would like to participate in our program, keep it to yourself.)

Moreover, Joffrey is a total jerkface

Hello!

My name is Timmy Jenkinson and this is my report about episode 3 of Game of Thrones this season.  A bunch of really cool stuff happened, Greyjoy escaped and also Robb Stark and a bunch of old people talked to each other about the war.  His wife is kind off ugly.

In another important scene, the fat guy saw a girl give birth tooo a person, it was gross. My dad told me that they have to kill the baby because it’s a man.  Ther’s a rule that those people have that they kill every baby that’s a man.  My dad likes Game of Thrones almost as much as he likes Captain Morgan.  He didn’t say that, but that was my “observation.”

An Open Letter to Final Papers

Can’t tell if she is stressed about finals or just got fingered by Wolverine.

Okay, this has gone far enough.

You can ask anyone I know, I am a man of my word. When I lose a bet to my friends, I pay up. When I promise my older step-brother that I’ll do his chores if he would please just finally tell me what a dingleberry is, I do his chores. And I recognize that you and I made a pact a few months ago. I told you that I would write you, and Mephistopheles was there, and then we went on this crazy flying journey; it was eerily like the story of Faust.

Being that I am a man of my word, I will do as I have promised. I will go to the University Library, check out a bunch of giant books with frayed covers, and leaf through them to find keywords and phrases that will assist me in writing you in the most bullshit-heavy manner possible. But not before I give you a piece of mind. So here goes.