1. Original title: The Gettysburg Address – Abraham Lincoln, 1863
Why it sucks: If I had to guess the content of this speech based solely on the title, I’d assume Abraham Lincoln gave a reading of the Gettysburg, PA phonebook.
New title: Continue reading
A few days ago Virgin America released the new safety video that they will show passengers before flights take off.
I would like to emphasize the fact that that this video was made by real, debatably sane people. This is real life. And it’s terrifying. Here are some GIFs from the video that show how truly, truly heinous this whole ordeal is. Continue reading
Being human is great. I should know, I’ve been one my entire life. And like any good human, I love GIFs. The short, looping animations please my simple Continue reading
Dear Class of 2017,
Three short years ago the class of 2014 shuffled at the pace of a dehydrated desert tortoise because everyone’s parents felt the need to take photos every five steps marched through the arch and commenced the drunk, sweaty adventure that was Wildcat Welcome 2010. In a few weeks, we’re really looking forward to sitting on our front porches, drinking beer that isn’t Busch Light, and watching you wander aimlessly as you try to find that awesome party near the corner of Maple and Simpson.
Said everyone when The Office stopped running.
For those of us who are soon-to-be rising seniors, The Office has been a fixture in our lives since we were greasy haired seventh graders trying to cope with the idea that there could be letters in a math problem (seriously, WTF still?). Although the last few seasons have been lackluster, we have to admit that we used to drop everything on Thursday night to invite Michael, Pam, Jim, and Dwight into our homes and our hearts. So in celebration of tonight’s series finale, let’s take a look at some of the adolescent milestones we experienced over the course of The Office‘s nine-year tenure.
2005: Received some wisdom from your middle school health teacher.
2006: Went to your first school dance. You were too scared to grind to Ms. New Booty, but you managed to blend in somehow.
Once upon a time, there was a cat named Tom Migon. He was an amazing and incredibly intelligent cat.
What a smart cat!
Tom Migon, instead of choosing a life of fame or fortune, chose to dedicate himself to a life of service. He opened a charitable organization called The Keg of Evanston. The Keg of Evanston was meant for cats who wanted to meet each other and have fun.
Mexican Mondays, the predecessor to Keg Mondays.
Alright. It’s the weekend before finals and you are READY. Time to rock some shit and remind your parents that despite all the getting written up and never going to class that you’re a real student:
Sherman Ave 
