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Tag Archives: ginger

The Top 20 Ways to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day at the Library

17 Mar
Follow this list until the Catholic guilt is too much to handle.

Follow this list until the Catholic guilt is too much to handle.

1. Read an article about religious sectarian violence on JSTOR
Curse like an Irishman every time Northwestern logs you out.

2. Do an Econometrics problem set
Congratulations! You’re receiving the education that eluded the 1/8th of your ancestors who endured brutal ethnocentrism in the streets of America!

3. Work on your 25-page paper you should have started in mid-February for your research seminar, “Gender and Sexuality during the Irish Potato Famine”
It’s only a matter of time until “Irish Studies” becomes an official major.

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Miley Cyrus Mad Libs

22 May

Miley Cyrus has declared the act of intercourse to be “a beautiful and magical thing.

Horny in the U.S.A.

…just in CASE you were wondering whether she was still striking terror in the hearts of parents of horny tweens across the country. Or if you were wondering whether sex is indeed a beautiful thing.

Anyways, let us collectively wish an unplanned pregnancy upon this classless strumpet (it seems like the only thing that might actually remove her from Hollywood) with a set of Mad Libs. Simply answer the questions below and fill in the blank spaces as commanded – no cheating!

  1. toy
  2. your “type” (e.g., athletes, pre-meds, gingers)
  3. your favorite sexual position
  4. how do you feel after 2 weeks without any sexual activity?
  5. how do you like your breakfast in the morning? (adjective)
  6. your porn star alias
  7. on top or on bottom?
  8. #1 person you’d bang if you could
  9. verb
  10. location
  11. interjection
  12. the title of your favorite porn movie
  13. interjection
  14. method of communication
  15. depraved sex act (urbandictionary style)
  16. noun
  17. unclean adjective
  18. toy
  19. genitalia
  20. #2 person you’d bang if you could
  21. verb
  22. location

Send yours to me at eleanorkinkervoss@u.northwestern.edu, and if your Mad Lib turned out as attention-seeking and degenerate as Ms. Cyrus herself, we just might publish it.

Pole dancing at the Keg can get pretty rough.

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

Oh yeah
Come on

You get the [1] out front, ooh-a-ooh
Hot [2], every [3], every color
Yeah when you’re [4] it can be kinda fun
it’s really [5] but no one ever discovers

In some ways you’re just like all your friends
But on stage you’re [6]

You get [7] of [8]
Chillin’ out, take it slow
Then you [9] out the [10]
You get [7] of [8] and you
Mix it all together and you know that
it’s [7] of [8],
The [7] of [8], ([11])

You go the [12] premiers
Hear your [13] on the [14]
[15]ing two [16] is a little weird
But school’s cool cuz nobody knows

Yeah you get to be a [17] girl
But big time when you play your [18]

You get the [19] of [20]
Chillin’ out take it slow
Then you [21] out the [22]

You get the [19] of [20] and you
Mix it all together and you know that
it’s the [19]
You get the [19] of [20].