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Tag Archives: Greek

SororityChick69 Releases Official Frat Rankings on CollegiateACB

23 Apr

EVANSTON, Il – At 11:37 AM this morning on CollegiateACB, SororityChick69 released the official social rankings of NU’s IFC fraternities.  Her announcement falls in the wake of intense deliberation and debate throughout the past year on the site’s comment threads.  After refusing an in-person interview, SororityChick69 agreed to speak with Sherman Ave on the phone.

“Deciding who is top tier this year was the hardest Continue reading

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We Made These Pledge Mom Week Posters So You Don’t Have To

11 Feb

Pledge Mom Poster 1Pledge Mom Poster 2 Continue reading

Fraternity gives bid to freezer door through loophole in chill-to-pull grading system

9 Jan

EVANSTON, Ill.–In an embarrassing turn of events, a chapter within the Northwestern Greek life community—they have requested to remain anonymous—has admitted the door to a local freezer in an attempt to honor the age-old chill-to-pull system that has been a doctrine of fraternity culture since its invention in the early 20th century.

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Winter Quarter at Northwestern is Amazing and I Don’t Care Who Knows It

5 Jan
(via northwestern.edu)

(via northwestern.edu)

Listen up, Wildcats. Betches love to complain about winter in Evanston. It’s soooo cold. Rush is soooo boring. I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. Nobody will ever love me. I’m going to die alone surrounded by my cats and McKinsey and Company employee of the month awards. The passage near Kellogg is like totally a wind tunnel. I should have gone to Madison, it’s totally not this cold up there. My Wings Over order is taking sooooo long to get here. Where is my Honey BBQ? Where is the Frosbite Express??!??!?

I’m gonna stop you right there. Winter quarter is amazing, you just don’t know it yet. Here’s a rundown of all the reasons why January through March are a wonderful time to be a Wildcat:

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5 Spectacularly Awful Sci–Fi/ Fantasy Character Names

12 Dec

Science fiction and fantasy are interesting genres in that they encourage narratives free from association with real–world logic, philosophy, or science. Pretty much anything goes in the land of lightsabers and lazerbeams, and that type of liberal mentality can encourage the worst creative tendencies in otherwise talented writers, especially when it comes to something as simple––and seemingly trivial––as naming characters.

I, along with many others, went to go see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire over Thanksgiving break, and while I enjoyed the movie, I found myself spit–taking my liquid popcorn butter frequently as straight–faced actors called each other things like “Effie Trinket” or “President Coriolanus (Ha! Anus!) Snow.”

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Sherman Ave Homecoming Court Voter Guide: Demetri Elias

24 Sep

In June, Sherman Ave sat down with each of the 2013 Homecoming Court nominees for wide-ranging discussions. If any cultural references seem slightly out of date, that’s because that was June and this is September and that’s how time works. Voting for Homecoming King and Queen begins soon!

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Packingham: How do you spell your last name?

Demetri: E-L-I-A-S. Elias.

Packingham: Okay, and how do you spell your mother’s maiden name?

Demetri: Pravata. P-R-A-V-A-T-A.

Packingham: And what are you studying?

Demetri: Archaeology and history major and I have a classical studies minor.

Packingham: When did you discover your passion for classical studies?

Demetri: Well, I’ve always wanted to do history, ever since lower school, I’ve really just enjoyed history as a subject. But then I took a gap year and I traveled and I was doing community service for a year and it was awesome. I went all around, it was a super cool experience, I was like coaching soccer in Ghana, I was in Greece working with sea turtles living on the beach, I was outside a lot and doing a lot of hands-on work, and I realized I wanted some sort of job that I could be outside with, so that’s where archaeology came in the picture. Because I wanted to do something historical but be outside and hands-on. And then classics, a lot of distros come from the classics department.

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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: The 13 Types of People You’ll Meet in College

24 Apr
Not listed: That Guy.

Not listed: That Guy.

  1. The Walking College Stereotype

Every sitcom and movie involving college students likes to portray them as rigidly focused students looking for their way in life during the day, and uncontrollable party animals at night. On Wednesday days at 3 A.M., they’re at the library struggling to stay awake – and on Saturday nights they’re at the bar struggling to stay standing. They’ll pull at least two all-nighters every week, eat ramen or fast food for every lunch and dinner, and get blackout drunk every weekend. Some people are like this for the first couple weeks of their freshman year – and others are this person for the entirety of their college lives; however, one thing is certain: you will come across someone like this at some point in college.

  1. Mr. or Mrs. Pre-Professional

This person is always working towards some goal that they had in their childhood.  They’re in the pre-med class, the pre-med fraternity, the pre-med club, and even the pre-med field hockey team. It’s impossible to talk to this person without eventually hearing “When I’m a doctor,” or “When I’m at Harvard Law.” The entirety of their life revolves around their future, and they won’t let you forget it.

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Keg Week 2013: The Eulogy

8 Apr
Tonight, we're popping popcorn in your honor.

Tonight, we’re popping popcorn in your honor.

One week ago Sunday, The Keg of Evanston closed its doors for the very last time. Tonight we conclude our Keg Week 2013 with what may–for better or worse–be the very last article we ever post about TKOE.

At this point, more words have been spilled over that shit-hole Evanston bar than Bud Light out of a big cup. Don’t worry, this epitaph will be about as brief as a dance floor hookup, and hopefully a shade less awkward.

Think of all the geographic locations pertaining to Northwestern. The Arch. The Rock. The Frat Quad. The Black House. Willard. Searle Hall. The Lakefill. Tech. Norris. Ryan Field. The Steam Tunnels. Deering. CVS. The Howard El Stop. That One Bench You Totally Made Out On With Your PA.

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