Tag Archives: GTA V

15 Reasons Why You’re Skipping Class Today

16 Oct


1. Searching for that grade-A Miley sideboob on Google Images

2. It’s kind of cold and you have a blanket on and yeah Steve, we all know it’s only like a five minute walk to class and we’re here to go to school but would you just shut the fuck up and let me lay in bed

3. Just discovered Parks and Rec on Netflix

4. Seemingly nice guy you met at a frat party on Saturday still has you tied-up in his basement

5. Refusing to go to class until government shutdown is over

6. I don’t know, masturbating? Some people just have other things to do

7. It’s your mom’s birthday and you’ve always been a huge disappointment to her and the rest of the family, so why not really rub it in?

8. Can’t seem to find the best way to punch that hooker in the face in GTA V

9. Broke down and tried all three of Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Tacos last night and you just need to take a little time to think about what you’re doing with your life because things really aren’t looking good. Things rarely do after spending 7 hours on a toilet

10. Cocaine addiction is a full-time job.

11. Class doesn’t allow laptops and Buzzfeed posted 23096 new puppy gif articles you need to look at

12. Just can’t take another second of listening to that bitch Marie rant about how much she hates the patriarchy and the inherent unfairness of society in the MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMN PHYSICS LECTURE, OF ALL PLACES

13. You’re a theater major doing method acting for your one-man-show about a guy who just hates going to class

14. You’re just fucking fed up, ya know? Like, why are we in school anyhow? This whole thing is stupid.

15. Because fuck you, that’s why

Total Fucking Idiots Try to Have Intelligent Conversation about Breaking Bad

28 Sep


EVANSTON – Early Friday night, three Northwestern University students, all of whom are complete morons, reportedly attempted to have a meaningful discussion about the characters, symbols, and possible outcome of the hit television series Breaking Bad, whose series finale airs this Sunday at 8:00 Central Time.

Bentford also mentioned that the above image, of which he has a poster-sized version in his room, is “pretty mesmerizing.”

Bentford also mentioned that the above image, of which he has a poster-sized version in his room, is “pretty mesmerizing.”

Sources say that the conversation, conducted by Wesley Bentford (WCAS, ’15), Zach Silverberg (Comm., ’15) and Ryan Mancuso (WCAS, ’15), lasted well over thirty minutes, despite the fact that all three of the participants are incredibly stupid, and touched on topics such as the show’s use of color, the show’s cinematographic techniques, and the development of some of its most major characters.

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